Jennifer, Gregory, and Kate – the (Jerry) Springer Spaniel, traveled to Cook Forest for a lovely weekend retreat.

Greg purchased Pike Creek Canadian Whiskey, Breckenridge Colorado Bourbon (…no, bourbon does not have to come from Kentucky, it just has to have at least 51% corn in the mash bill and fit the definition of American Whiskey otherwise…), both of which proved to be amazing spirits. Really. You should try them if you have the cash and they’re available.

Jen made jalapeno-infused as well as sage-infused simple syrups and then, along with Wigle bitters, stretched her bartender muscles to make a jalapeno mint julep as well as a blackberry sage old-fashioned. They were exceptional. Really. You should drink them if someone offers.

Kate made noise. Lots of noise. And poo. She’s like a shit factory. (Ultimately, I guess that’s what we all are.)

On the second night, as the pizza dough completed its journey to readiness for Jen’s signature cast-iron skillet pie, after the Del Ducas rose from a three hour nap (“A three hour nap. The weather started getting rough. The tiny cabin rocked. If not for the liquor in the two-man crew. The podcast would be lost.”), and as Greg drank half of each of the bottles of previously mentioned spirits, the Canasta cards came out.

What you are about to hear spans one glorious, often-hilarious, song-filled round. (Take note: This is part one of a split episode. The second part, will you’ll hear next week, occurs well after the game, and well after any amount of sobriety or topical cohesion.)

Greg laughs like the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

Jen wins the hand.

Kate goes down on herself.

We present to you, “Drunk Canasta.”