Lets Trash Talk

27 – How To Deal With Bad Neighbors


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There's a growing problem that affects a majority of people. This problem is bad neighbors. There are a few things people want to know: how to deal with bad neighbors and, in some cases, how to get rid of bad neighbors. Hopefully, these questions will be answered here but for the full experience, listen to the podcast episode for a more in-depth approach.

How to Deal with Bad Neighbors
When you end up with a bad neighbor, how did things get to be this way? An article by Psychology Today brings up an interesting point. The author of the article points out that many people make the mistake of isolating themselves from their neighbors. Their first contact with their neighbor is usually a confrontation over something the neighbor did wrong. This ends up creating bad neighbors.

Think about it. If your only contact with your neighbor is via a dispute, this will only encourage that neighbor to continue or escalate the annoying behavior. Establishing a good relationship with your neighbors could most likely prevent them from turning into bad neighbors.

The determination of whether or not you will create bad neighbors is how you handle the situation. If your approach is to come out with guns blazing because your neighbor didn't pick up after his dog, then his/her reaction might be equally aggressive. Using a calm and calculated method to approach your neighbor can defuse any potential problems.

Some people are just plain unreasonable. So using the psychological warfare described in the Psychology Today article just might not work out.

Do I Stay or Do I Go?
One action people take in dealing with bad neighbors is to just pack up and leave. The stress and pressure caused by these bad neighbors is sometimes too difficult to handle. People making the decision to leave think this is the only viable solution to their problem.

If you're a tenant, you can easily decide to not renew your lease. However, if you purchased your home, do you put it up for sale in order to escape your bad neighbors? You might think it would be an easier decision for renters but there are many other factors to consider:

Do you have children and will they have to change schools?

Will moving negatively impact your commute to work?
Is moving even economically feasible?

You shouldn't have to move just to escape bad neighbors. Imagine the inconvenience involved. Moving should be the last resort in dealing with bad neighbors. Sometimes moving can result in a chaotic situation. Just ask Jerry Rice and Janice Ruhter.

Woman Tortures Couple for Outbidding on a Home
Jerry Rice and Janice Ruhter purchased a home in San Diego, California, in 2011. They outbid another person who was interested in the home, Kathy Rowe. Kathy Rowe wanted the home so badly that she offered the couple $100,000 on top of what they paid. The couple wasn't interested. Kathy Rowe decided to terrorize the couple.

Kathy Rowe initially sent over $1,000 worth of magazine subscriptions to the home of Jerry Rice and Janice Ruhter. Next, the married, female neighbors of the couple received provocative Valentine's Day cards. All of which were shown to be sent from Jerry Rice. In actuality, they were sent by Kathy Rowe.

The most heinous act of terror Kathy Rowe committed were the series of rape fantasy Craigslist ads. Kathy Rowe posted ads on Craigslist, pretending to be Janice Ruhter. The ads detailed Janice's rape fantasy. The ads stated that Janice Ruhter wanted men to come into the house and force themselves upon her, even if she said no. A couple men did show up but luckily the faux fantasy was not fulfilled.

Kathy Rowe, winner of '50 Best Moms of San Diego', was caught by police. She accepted a plea bargain deal. Kathy Rowe received one year of electronic surveillance and 5 years of probation. As you can see here, moving to avoid your bad neighbors doesn't always work out.

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Lets Trash TalkBy Ed and Sara, Trash Talking Enthusiasts