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27: Why Finding "Your People" Feels So Hard in Midlife
If midlife has you feeling lonelier, more disconnected (even from longtime friends), or like you suddenly don’t fit like you used to - you’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone.
In this episode, we explore the deep, often unspoken sense of not belonging that so many women experience in midlife. Our conversation goes beyond surface-level loneliness and dives into why belonging is a biological, nervous-system need, how early family dynamics shape our sense of safety, and why midlife can reactivate old “core wounds” of exclusion, rejection, and feeling like something is wrong with us.
If you’ve ever thought “I don’t fit anymore”, “I can’t find my people”, or “Why does this feel like high school all over again?” , this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening.
You'll discover:
- Why belonging is wired into our nervous system as a survival instinct, not a personality trait
- How midlife hormonal and life transitions naturally change who we connect with, and why that can feel disorienting
- How exclusion in adulthood can instantly take us back to being 12 years old and “not invited to the party”
- The hidden stress created by modern nuclear family life versus how women evolved to live in community
- Why some midlife women often crave deeper, more spiritually aligned connections - and lose interest in surface-level relationships
If you want to find out how you can create a sense of belonging no matter who you're with or what room you're in, come to our mini-online retreat: Where You Belong.
Key Takeaways from this episode:
- Feeling like you don’t belong is not a personal failure, it’s a nervous-system response rooted in evolution.
- Midlife is an initiation into a new phase of life, and old relationships may no longer fit.
- True belonging isn’t just about finding the right people, it starts with feeling safe, secure and worthy within yourself.
References from this episode:
- Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown
Find us on instagram:
Jen: @jenreimercoaching
Sheri: @sherijohnsoncoaching
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By Jennifer Reimer, PhD and Sheri Johnson | Midlife Experts | Holistic Nutritionist | Theta HealerIf midlife has you feeling lonelier, more disconnected (even from longtime friends), or like you suddenly don’t fit like you used to - you’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone.
In this episode, we explore the deep, often unspoken sense of not belonging that so many women experience in midlife. Our conversation goes beyond surface-level loneliness and dives into why belonging is a biological, nervous-system need, how early family dynamics shape our sense of safety, and why midlife can reactivate old “core wounds” of exclusion, rejection, and feeling like something is wrong with us.
If you’ve ever thought “I don’t fit anymore”, “I can’t find my people”, or “Why does this feel like high school all over again?” , this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening.
You'll discover:
- Why belonging is wired into our nervous system as a survival instinct, not a personality trait
- How midlife hormonal and life transitions naturally change who we connect with, and why that can feel disorienting
- How exclusion in adulthood can instantly take us back to being 12 years old and “not invited to the party”
- The hidden stress created by modern nuclear family life versus how women evolved to live in community
- Why some midlife women often crave deeper, more spiritually aligned connections - and lose interest in surface-level relationships
If you want to find out how you can create a sense of belonging no matter who you're with or what room you're in, come to our mini-online retreat: Where You Belong.
Key Takeaways from this episode:
- Feeling like you don’t belong is not a personal failure, it’s a nervous-system response rooted in evolution.
- Midlife is an initiation into a new phase of life, and old relationships may no longer fit.
- True belonging isn’t just about finding the right people, it starts with feeling safe, secure and worthy within yourself.
References from this episode:
- Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown
Find us on instagram:
Jen: @jenreimercoaching
Sheri: @sherijohnsoncoaching