A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to contribute to a piece that Lisa Akesson posted on LinkedIn about helping women find the confidence to negotiate. There were so many comments and views of the post that I thought it would be worth expanding the conversation further.

Here are some of the negative mind-chatter we all have at various points in our career:

• I don’t want to seem too forward or demanding

• I don’t want them to think that I am difficult or pushy

• If I ask for flexible hours, will they think I am not serious about the job?

• Am I worth the salary?

• Do I have enough skills to do the job?

We can all be guilty of these thought patterns when applying for a new job, asking for a rise, negotiating a promotion within the company or getting a seat at the table. It is important to remember that negative self-talk limits our possibilities, rather than opening them up. This is known as Imposter Syndrome, which according to the Oxford English Dictionary is:

“the lack of confidence and the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved."

This Imposter Syndrome deters many top-rate employees from negotiating for high raises or promotions.

However, if you don’t believe in your own value, why would anyone else do so?

How do we overcome this lack of self-worth and challenge our own beliefs about asking?

First, you need to remember these three truisms in UK’s professional job market;

• Job roles often do not go to the most qualified person - they go to the most connected person, who, in addition, negotiates with skill.

• You do not get paid what you are worth - you get paid what you ask for.

• All business skills are learnable via deliberate practice – the best start is to ask someone who already has the skill to show you.

Lead with a collaborative approach, by presenting your current or potential employer with the solution to their most pressing business challenges, rather than giving them yet another problem to deal with.

Show that by taking you on/offering you the higher position, that the company’s problem will be solved. But it is imperative to prepare first.

• Have your plans ready to solve their challenges.

• You need to stand out at interview and demonstrate YOUR value to the organization – that way you are perceived as a scare resource rather than a dispensable one.

The practicalities of all of the above will be discussed in my next blog.

Why not join Lisa and me on our two half-day virtual course on “Impactful Negotiations for women” on 8th and 9th February 2021? Feel free to drop me a line in the comments section or send me a personal message ([email protected]) if you are interested. I will then send you the details of our programme.