I am afraid to retreat because I run from the fear of loneliness when no one else is around. Have I given God the opportunity to fill the void in my soul and be my King? Can I be free to question my understanding or why certain things have happened? Can I have doubt that God is who he says he is? I am completely Inspired by Francis's story and his willingness to share the story of the death of his first born son and how the suffering of his baby manifested a rising anger towards God. How, if we allow Him, God continues to illuminate whats right in front of us transforming death and darkness to life. I am learning slowly that I don't need certainty and that Christ welcomes our deepest questions.