This summer, I went back to counseling.

My bodies going through menopause – and I need some help navigating what to do when I feel estrogen angry? I also need help trying to figure out how to deconstruct some conservative evangelical beliefs I inherited while running a ministry. As one of my sage friends tells me, I'm not deconstructing; I'm just learning to change on the job. Working through my faith while speaking to yours is a serious business to me.

I'm aware of the power one holds who holds the bible and declares, "thus says the Lord.” That's a serious business. And I don't want to mess anyone up while I'm figuring out my stuff.

So this summer, I went on a hunt. I needed someone who could understand the unique dynamics of being a pastor. I needed someone who wouldn't talk Christianese to me or give me patten answers. I know my stuff, and I need someone who knew theirs. It took a few months, but I finally found this woman in Chicago. It turns out, one point in her career, she too had been a minister. I love it when Jesus does stuff like that.

She said two profoundly helpful things to me. I paid for them, but you are getting them for free.