Thoughtful Thursdays-#292 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Stand For Something Greater

I got into a Face Book argument about something stupid. I usually stay out of politics and sports on social media…but here in Tennessee the fans can be…what should I call it… passionate? And they can be rude or mean to not only the team but the coaching staff, and to anyone else who disagrees with them.

I’ll give you a little backstory on me. I played ice hockey in college, and once I was done playing I really stopped having interest in watching sports. Maybe it was because the dream was gone and I wasn’t going anywhere with sports, or maybe it could be I love naps more than watching a sports game.

And in Tennessee, especially Knoxville, most people are fans of the University here…also known as the Tennessee Volunteers. When the team isn’t doing well, you see all these posts on social media how the coach should be fired or how the team is so bad. And for me it really gets tiring because we treat people like they have no value. We degrade them and say that’s what they get for being in the spotlight by being an athlete in a big college, or for coaches… as they say “that’s what they signed on for when they accepted those millions of dollars in their contract.”

And it really is disheartening how we can talk so callous about people just because they aren’t winning. We think it gives us a right to tear people apart and criticize them because we are so called true fans. And so a friend of mine posted an article that was asking about if the coach here should be fired. So I made a reply by saying I hated Tennessee fans by how fickle, mean, and rude they can be and then I asked, “what happened to building great character in young minds… as now all we seem to care about is winning.”

And the flood gates were open season on me with one person as he took offense to what I said as if I was personally talking about him. I usually don’t like confrontations, but I saw this as an opportunity to have a discussion to state our points but also not attack the other person for their opinions.

After this person called me a hypocrite… I didn’t have to apologize but I wanted to be kind and apologized to him and said that I didn’t mean to offend him from my first comment as it wasn’t about anyone in particular in fact my comment was really about any sports team that has aggressive and mean fans whether it be professionally or college. I dislike how hateful they can be. 

I think I got so engaged in this conversation because of something this person said after my first comment.  I’ll quote it here verbatim “College football is a business dude, so nobody gives 2 shits about developing "great character in young minds" if the cost of that is mediocrity (at best) on an annual basis…”

And what he said really made me sad… and so I called him out on it and said oh…so you don’t care about the players then? And he responded “that’s not my opinion, that’s just how everyone else is, they know it’s a business.” But you can’t make a comment like that and exit yourself out of the situation talking about the reality of college sports…because it’s not an US vs. Them argument…it is an “all of us” statement. If everyone else is like that, and we go along and buy into it…then it’s all of us. We all are the bad guys then. And we TRY to make ourselves feel better by separating ourselves from the argument saying that’s them…not me.

I went on to talk about how some of the greatest coaches in the industry, and my personal coaches who made a difference in my life, didn’t focus on winning. They focused on building up the character of players. I played for coaches who only focused on winning, and I played for coaches who focused on me as an individual…and I became a better person from the coaches who cared about me...  I became a better individual because of the ones who steered me away from focusing ONLY on winning into focusing on building up the character of myself.

In our social media discussion I went on to say that, “if we’re only in the business of winning... then we’ve already lost. And that I understood his position…that you may think we have the same ideas here but they are completely different. You are so focused about winning above all costs…and I get it most people think that way, but it’s a flawed premise…where I’m focused on people giving their best always… whether they win or lose. I’ve spent years chasing things that I thought would make me happy…chasing after the milestone, the destination, or the goal…and was left feeling empty because the goal or winning that goal wasn’t the end result. It was the journey of me working to give my best in every moment. We live in a society that rewards winners…but the true winners are not those with the trophies, the true winners are the ones failing over and over and getting back up.

We look at people and see them fail and call them bums, we love to ridicule or laugh at people for losing…maybe because it makes us feel like winners…but in the end it discourages those people and it may keep them down…but what if we were to encourage individuals, and to really care about them as people instead of winners. Yes, some people will thrive on the ridicule… as Michael Jordan talked about all his critics gave him fuel to prove them wrong…but some people may not be that strong…some people will need people encouraging them as they fail. I know I need that in my life, and I’m grateful I had coaches, parents, and friends who gave that to me…even through all the times people laughed at me during my failures.

I know my ideas on winning aren’t the most popular as I want every team to tie. I want every team to be a winner. I want every game to be a hard fought game for both sides, and I want the individuals to feel great about what they’re doing as human beings...whether they are coaches or players on winning or losing teams. I’ve spent too much of my life being in competition.

So I’m not telling you how to root for sports or for your teams…but what I’m asking of you is to take a little more thought on how you talk about people when they fail or lose, how you talk about people you don’t even know, and how angry you might get at something that you aren’t even truly a part of…we call them our teams when they’re winning, and then we call them bums and want to distance ourselves as much as possible from them when they’re losing. How we speak is who we become, and I understand for some people sports is their escape from life…I’ve had my own distractions to keep me disengaged from my life… I get it…but let us not escape to this arena to tear others down, let us enjoy the games and not let it ruin our days whatever the outcome is. Your life is more than the total score between two teams at the end of the day.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What are you passionate about, and is it something that makes you better? It’s good to have things that make life more bearable, it’s great to have things that we can be excited about…but does it build you and others up…or does it divide you? How do you cheer others on? Do you see them as people first…and then as athletes, celebrities, musicians, politicians, or business owners? We spend so much of our time thinking we are separate, that we would never mistakes like they did, and then judging others for their mistakes…instead of loving people thru their mistakes.

So today take notice on negative things you say about other people. Turn on the news and watch all the negativity that’s happening in the world…see all the war and terrorist activity, criminals, thieves, people suffering, athletes and celebrities making mistakes…and instead of judging them right away…what if you were to find compassion for them first. I’m not saying be ok with the bad things they’ve done, but what if you were to try to see it from their side and understand them as a person…and still love them through their mistakes? I know we all need a little more compassion for our mistakes, so let us be the change first that’s so desperately needed

If we are only in the business of winning... then we’ve already lost.
Let’s develop character above money,
faith above fear,
and love over hatred…
as we are each other’s keepers.

I Stand For Something Greater

 

 

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

 

 

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide