Today’s exercise will be tapping into our sense of compassion.

Focus on a particular person, someone whose complaining bothers you.

Do you have that person in mind? OK, let’s begin.

[BELL]

Take a deep breath in and hold it.

Let it out and stay empty.

Breathe in. Breath out.

One more time breathe in. And out.

Think about that person. Being to mind their complaints. I’ll ask a series of questions that you don’t need to answer, just let them go through your mind while you’re thinking of that person.

What are the words they’re saying?

What do they say is causing them this distress? 

What might be underneath their complaint?

Are they in physical pain?

Are they feeling lonely and are seeking attention?

Are they feeling dismissed and need to assert themselves?

Are they stressed about something and unable to address that?

Are they feeling powerless?

Are they feeling vulnerable or at risk?

Are they sad or depressed?

Why do you think this person has chosen you to complain to? Can you nurture this part of your relationship? 

How do you imagine they want you to respond? Would they be able to ask for that? Or to receive it if you were to offer it?

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Imagine yourself in their position. What would you want to happen? Can that happen?

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Now we will focus on your response to the situation. 

What is it that you're wanting to have happen instead that is not happening? Are you feeling disappointment about that not happening?

Is there anything about the complaint that is triggering something that is your own complaint, something that you wish for yourself that isn't happening? 

Is there some reason that this particular person, this relationship or this complaint actually triggers a more painful response in you than listening to other people's complaints?

Is it painful for you to feel this person’s suffering?

Are you stressed or at a limit? Is it hard to absorb another’s complaints at this time? What can you do to take care of yourself? Are you able to ask for that?

Do you have expectations for yourself that you don’t feel you’re meeting?

Can you give yourself a break?

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Once more: Breathe in. Breathe out.

[BELL]

That's all for today. Go NoCo.