“Shoab Akhtar is gonna miss the tour because he’s got a bad case of genital warts… they just came out with it.” – Greg Blewett

Hayden bleeds for Australia, the boys show off their willow, Tendulkar takes his Ferrari out after midnight, and Scott Boland is the unluckiest bloke in Australia.Plus, we get into Barmy Army sledges, and why T20 in the Top End might just matter more than you think.

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