In this episode, Kurt Garceau and Jake Rosekopf talk through 7 practical tools to lead a dominant personality and ultimately your group with grace and truth, in love. 

EPISODE NOTES:

1)  Pray for wisdom and words! (James 1:5, Colossians 4:6) 

 Pray for wisdom and for the right words and trust God to give them generously.
 
 2)  Set the stage. 

• “Hey guys, before we begin, I just want to remind everyone that we want to make sure everyone has a chance to talk tonight, so let’s give everyone an opportunity.” 

3)  Manage Eye Contact.

Dominant personalities often associate eye contact from the discussion leader as a green light to talk.

4)  Call on a specific person to share their thoughts first. 

•  “John, what do you think about this one?”
• “Let’s hear from one of the guys/ladies (opposite gender of dominator) on this one.” 

5)  Steer the conversation.

• “That's a really good point." 

Immediately turn to the group, and say: 

• "What do you all think?" 
•  “Do other people have an opinion on this?” 
• “Who haven’t we heard from?” 
•  “Does anyone have an alternative view?” 
• “Let’s see if anyone else has something to add here."

6)  Use something they’ve said as a turning point and spin it positively. 

• “John, I like how you patiently dealt with your difficult manager at work. Has anyone else experienced that?”

7)  Give a silence time limit. 

• “I realize it takes people time to think when a question is asked. To make sure everyone gets a chance to engage with our discussion, let’s wait 5 seconds before we answer this one.” 

 Then call on someone specific by name…

• “John, are you ready to answer?” If John is not, ask the next person.

What do you do if you have tried these methods and the problem continues….

1)  Pray again! Ask God to help you see them as He does. Ask Him for wisdom and words and for the person to receive correction with humility. 

2)  Reach out to your Coach or your Campus Community Group Director for prayer/advice. 

3)  Meditate for a few days on Ephesians 4:2-3.

4)  Ask to talk to the person outside of group time. Never confront the person during group time. 

5)  At the meeting: 

• Affirm them in what they do contribute.
• Ask permission to bring up your other observations.
• Remind them that the goal of the group is to give everyone a chance to share. Share that you perceive they are dominating the conversation and remind them that they will be blessed by listening to others as well.
• Put them on a mission. Invite them to help in getting some of the other people in

Check out our Vox Groups Leader Resource on RightNow Media for more practical tools to lead healthy, vibrant, growing Community Groups. https://app.rightnowmedia.org/.../interact.../863245/details

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