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One of the hardest skills we're never taught? How to have difficult conversations well. So we put them off… until they're living rent-free in our heads. When we finally do have them, we wing it, things get awkward or defensive, and we end up avoiding them even more next time.

But underneath every difficult conversation is actually three conversations happening at once. And once you understand what they are, you'll never approach a hard conversation the same way again. If you want a better way to handle tough talks — whether it's with a colleague, partner, or family member — this one’s for you.

References

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen

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Audio Stamps

[01:20] [What is a difficult conversation?] Why they feel so uncomfortable and what most people get wrong about them

[04:55] [The framework] Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton & Heen: the book behind this episode and why it's worth reading

[07:36] [Conversation 1: What happened?] How disagreements about truth, intentions, and blame make hard conversations even harder

[15:09] [Conversation 2: Feelings] Why feelings need to be part of the conversation, even in a professional setting

[19:40] [Conversation 3: Identity] How your sense of self gets in the way of having the conversation you need to have

[21:56] [Takeaways] How to use all three conversations to get a better outcome

To work with Amanda Sabicer or find out more, check out her website at www.amandasabicer.com.