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🎙️ Episode 3 – Session 2: Problems with Mentalizing
Welcome back.
In the previous session, we explored what mentalizing is.
Today, we take the next step: understanding what happens when mentalizing breaks down.
Because the truth is — everyone loses the ability to mentalize at times, especially under stress.
📌 What this session is about
Problems with mentalizing occur when you become too certain about your own thoughts or someone else’s intentions.
You may fall into black-and-white thinking, lose curiosity, or stop reflecting.
Instead of understanding, you start reacting automatically.
These moments often happen when emotions become intense and overwhelming.
🔎 Real-life examples
You assume: “They ignored me on purpose” — without checking what really happened.
You feel hurt or angry and react immediately, without thinking about other possible explanations.
You explain everything from outside factors, instead of looking at your own feelings or reactions.
📚 Why it matters
When mentalizing stops, misunderstandings increase.
You may feel not seen, rejected, or confused — and others may feel the same about you.
Strong emotions can take over, leading to impulsive reactions, conflict, or withdrawal.
This is often the moment where relationships become strained.
✨ How MBT works with this
In MBT, you learn to recognize your “switch point” — the moment where you stop thinking and start reacting.
You begin to notice:
When your thinking becomes rigid
When your emotions take control
When curiosity disappears
The goal is not to avoid these moments, but to recognize them earlier and regain your ability to reflect.
💡 Practice from Session 2
This week, pay attention to moments when you react automatically.
Choose one situation and write down:
1️⃣ What you were thinking
2️⃣ What you were feeling
3️⃣ What you did
Try to look back at the situation with curiosity instead of judgment.
🌟 Core message
Losing the ability to mentalize is part of being human.
The key is not perfection —
but awareness.
The more you recognize these moments, the more space you create between feeling and reacting.
And in that space, real understanding begins.
By Jasper Manders🎙️ Episode 3 – Session 2: Problems with Mentalizing
Welcome back.
In the previous session, we explored what mentalizing is.
Today, we take the next step: understanding what happens when mentalizing breaks down.
Because the truth is — everyone loses the ability to mentalize at times, especially under stress.
📌 What this session is about
Problems with mentalizing occur when you become too certain about your own thoughts or someone else’s intentions.
You may fall into black-and-white thinking, lose curiosity, or stop reflecting.
Instead of understanding, you start reacting automatically.
These moments often happen when emotions become intense and overwhelming.
🔎 Real-life examples
You assume: “They ignored me on purpose” — without checking what really happened.
You feel hurt or angry and react immediately, without thinking about other possible explanations.
You explain everything from outside factors, instead of looking at your own feelings or reactions.
📚 Why it matters
When mentalizing stops, misunderstandings increase.
You may feel not seen, rejected, or confused — and others may feel the same about you.
Strong emotions can take over, leading to impulsive reactions, conflict, or withdrawal.
This is often the moment where relationships become strained.
✨ How MBT works with this
In MBT, you learn to recognize your “switch point” — the moment where you stop thinking and start reacting.
You begin to notice:
When your thinking becomes rigid
When your emotions take control
When curiosity disappears
The goal is not to avoid these moments, but to recognize them earlier and regain your ability to reflect.
💡 Practice from Session 2
This week, pay attention to moments when you react automatically.
Choose one situation and write down:
1️⃣ What you were thinking
2️⃣ What you were feeling
3️⃣ What you did
Try to look back at the situation with curiosity instead of judgment.
🌟 Core message
Losing the ability to mentalize is part of being human.
The key is not perfection —
but awareness.
The more you recognize these moments, the more space you create between feeling and reacting.
And in that space, real understanding begins.