A Better Love with Dr. Greg Matos

3 things to consider about your long-distance relationship.


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Join Dr. Greg to discuss the challenges of long-distance relationships and potential opportunities to deepen your love before reuniting. Covered in today's episode:

1. Clarifying what you need.
2. Breaking up the separation with short trips to savor physical and sexual intimacy.
3. Determining what you're willing to accept.

Share this episode with someone you love and ask your relationships questions @abetterloveproject on TikTok and Instagram.

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Transcript:

For those of you who are listening and have ever been in a long-distance relationship you know for yourself the limitations and perhaps some of the benefits.

The benefit of physical distance is that you'll learn a lot about what a romantic relationship means to you. What are the most important parts? One study I looked at suggested 60% or more of respondents who have been in a long-term relationship report that the lack of physical intimacy is the biggest challenge, with 31% saying they were missing sex the most. It's definitely not surprising that physical intimacy was the biggest challenge, and I'm also not surprised that sex and sexual intimacy was as low as it is because any relationship that lasts pass in 3 or 4 months long distance is likely between two people With greater willingness to sacrifice this essential part of a fierce love.

Set for my listener who's struggling with this long-distance situation, I would have the following recommendations:

  1.  Define an end date for the physical separation.  Now, I know this isn't as easy as I suggest. There are many couples, I've worked with some, who have very specific professional requirements that have them in other countries living in other countries working in other countries so the amount of options you may have is likely Limited because you're physically separated in the first place. Still, have a sense of when the separation will end.
  2.  Ask yourself what do I need right now? If you really love the person, want to stay in the relationship, and the only issue to you is the physical separation, then perhaps scheduling some time to spend with that person to break up the period of separation would be a straightforward way to address that issue.
  3. And lastly, ask yourself what am I willing to accept in this situation? If you're not willing to experience whatever discomfort comes up from this distance then acknowledge that, honor that, and communicate what it is that you desire and want with your partner.  Perhaps, there's room for compromise or an option that you haven't considered yet 4 getting to the same apartment or condo or home, or maybe just the same city.

For those of you who are considering a long-distance relationship here are a few things that I wanted to share. First, for you high school sweethearts who experiment with a long-distance relationship oh, it's very common for college students to have a long-distance relationship oh, and it's also common for those to end at some point during the College Years. 

For those of you who met online and wonder how many of those relationships persist into marriage, it seems that about 10% of marriages in the US started as long-distance relationships.  

And for those of us who may have been dating during the pandemic and still now, it's more and more likely that you initiate romantic relationships in digital ways, connecting on dating apps, dating websites, etc.

It’s possible to have a fierce love that either begins online or with distance and has a period of physical separation.  They include a very strong friendship building a deep understanding of one another, admiration fondness, effective conflict management and communication skills, lots of these things can be communicated effectively through video and voice and all the other ways that we...

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A Better Love with Dr. Greg MatosBy Dr. Greg

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