Be You Not Them

#30 - Escaping The Victim Mentality


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TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. Either we've played the role of the victim in our lives or we have seen those close to us adopt a victim mindset. Why do we fall victim… to the victim mentality? See what we did there? So clever. Anyways, we're going to discuss how to break free from this mindset and how we've seen the victim mindset throughout our lives, whether in ourselves or in others.

[2:45] A Pet Peeve of Ours. We discuss what frustrates us about having a 'victim mentality' in some of the relationships that we've had.

[4:04] What Is A Victim Mentality. This is a learned mindset. So let's delve into a bit more.

[6:10] Signs You Have a Victim Mentality. Do you think you or someone else you know has a victim mentality? We go through what we've noticed when we typically play the victim in our life.

  • The Blame Game. It's always someone else's fault.
  • Self Defense Mechanism. Always being on the defense when there's conflict.
  • "I don't get involved in drama"....but they cause it or are always involved in drama.
  • Narrative development that paints you as the good guy.
  • Becoming resentful of other people's happiness.

[15:10] The Why Behind the Mentality. Why is it easy to fall prey to the victim mentality? We discuss a few reasons why people may default to this mindset.

  • Getting attention from others, especially if there is some insecurity there.
  • Validation from others because it makes you feel good.
  • Learned from the environment you grew up in.
  • The people you surround yourself with - friendships who enable your behavior.

[20:16] Unlearning The Mindset. How can we combat this and start changing this mindset to one of victim to survivor?

  • Take RESPONSIBILITY for your life.
  • Reflect, process and try to understand what was your role in the situation.
  • Identify what narrative you are telling yourself. Separate facts from fiction.
  • Get to the root: Why do you feel you don't have responsibility or control? Why do you only think bad things happen to you?
  • Start practicing gratitude for what you have.
  • Challenge limiting beliefs about yourself.

Remember - even if you've been through a traumatic experience or a negative experience in your life, why should you give it that negatively impact the rest of your life?

You know where to reach us. Sending you a lot of love.

Resources:

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You are NOT a victim. You are a survivor.

Baklava,

Nina

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Be You Not ThemBy Natassia Coelho and Nina Jean-Louis

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