Trust Me Mom

30. Women Are Not Pacifiers for Men with Abby Eckel


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What really happens after we get married and have kids — and why does “equality” so often disappear?In this powerful episode of Trust Me Mom (Season 1, episode 30), host Ekaterina Konovalova sits down with Abby Eckel — content creator, educator, and advocate for equitable partnerships — to unpack the realities of modern motherhood, invisible labor, emotional load, and why so many women feel overwhelmed despite “doing everything right.”Abby shares her journey into advocacy, the TikTok moment that went viral when she talked about splitting household labor equally, and why so many men don’t even realize they’re at the center of their relationships. This conversation dives into:- Why motherhood feels nothing like what we were promised- How gender roles quietly reassert themselves after children- The danger of framing women as responsible for men’s well-being- Why “just communicate better” is often terrible advice- What centering yourself actually looks like in real life- How raising boys differently can change future generations- This conversation is honest, uncomfortable at times, deeply validating — and necessary.00:00 Introduction & why this conversation matters00:52 Meet Abby Eckel & the struggle of modern working moms01:49 “I felt lied to about motherhood” — Abby’s origin story03:20 The viral moment: splitting cooking & bedtime equally04:32 Raising boys without gendered roles06:48 Teaching kids to fully finish tasks (the train-track story)08:53 Why women don’t want to come home to chaos11:44 Equal custody laws & why they scare mothers12:34 Scott Galloway, single men, and misplaced responsibility15:37 Why women aren’t meant to “fix” men16:39 “Just get a divorce?” — a provocative starting point19:10 Michelle & Barack Obama and invisible labor22:00 Why gender norms explode after kids25:33 Men being centered — and not realizing it29:16 When wives stop being “fun” and why31:09 Religion, submission, and unequal expectations33:00 What women can do right now to reclaim themselves36:04 Centering yourself without burning everything down36:19 Closing thoughts & gratitude#TrustMeMom #MentalLoad #InvisibleLabor #EquitableMarriage #ModernMotherhood #WorkingMoms #EmotionalLabor #Feminism #ParentingBoys #GenderRoles #MarriageReality#MotherhoodUnfiltered #SelfCentering #BreakingTheCycle #weaponizedincompetence

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