Mindful Mondays-# 310 November 6th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Keep A Soft Heart In A Hardened World

After relationships ended I felt angry. And I think I felt that way, because it was the easiest way for me to feel justified, to feel like I was right, and to protect myself if anyone tried to come back. It was a way to remember that I wouldn’t ever allow this person into my life again in that capacity. I felt that if I looked at the relationship in a good manner then I might be blinded to go back into it.

But being angry kept me from moving on, and it kept me from healing. They say that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference…but I don’t want to be so far from love that I’m indifferent to people I cared about. I think it is callous and makes us hard hearted. The world is already hard enough on us we don’t need to add more fuel to that fire. I think we can find a middle ground to keep a soft heart and be satisfied with the way things are…and be happy about how the things in our past turned out.

I think there’s this myth that we believe we have to hold onto an emotion to remember it. Maybe it’s even an emotion of revenge as we hope for people to feel the pain we went thru. And again while we think it will punish the other person, and maybe it will, but…it ultimately punishes us as it keeps us locked in that emotion. Anger begets more anger, hatred begets more hatred.

So instead of us holding onto anger, what if we were to hold onto love. Not love just for the other person, but love for ourselves. Because when we love ourselves we do what is right for ourselves. We ask questions of ourselves to see what is best for ourselves. And by doing what is best for ourselves, we then do what is best for others as well. So instead of holding onto anger to keep people locked out, what if you were to ask yourself…is this anger helping me? And what do I really need and want in my life?

Beneath the anger is something deeper, and that usually is some sort of anxiety or fear. The fear of being hurt again, the fear of being tricked, the fear of not being loved as we desire, the fear that everyone is the same, and maybe the fear of not being good enough. We live in this world that talks about fairy tales, and so we tell stories about fake relationships and perfection…instead of finding the truths we want to live. Because it’s not that we want to live happily ever after…it’s that we want to know that we truly connected with people authentically. It’s that we want to know we loved fully and gave all ourselves to allow people to know the real us…not the fairy tales that are of movies and books.

Because when you think about it, most people don’t know who we are. We are too afraid of being rejected, we are too afraid of being laughed at, and we are too afraid that our fears might be true…and when we live this way…we create our lives to mimic this fear. We make it our truths. And it’s not that I said it was an absolute truth… but it’s that you make it your reality.

So what if you were to create a different reality…what if you were to shed your anger and blossom it into love for yourself. What if you were crack your hardened heart and be willing to take a chance of having a lovingly and softer heart again. You don’t have to hold onto anger to protect yourself…you can hold onto love first…as you ask the question of what do I really need in my life…and how will I take loving steps towards that? How will I truly listen to my needs first and not my wants, how will I stay soft in a hardened world? Because being soft doesn’t mean you will be molded by the world…it means you will mold yourself how you want to be in this world. The hardened hearts are the ones not in control as the hardened world has molded…their hardened heart. Set yourself free from your anger, crack your hardened heart open…you are the only prison warden keeping a more beautiful heart locked up.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What anger are you holding onto? What resentments do you still allow to linger in your life? It’s a difficult river to forge on releasing our anger and finding better emotions that help us move forward. But it’s a worthwhile pursuit. Write down the events that have been holding you back. Write down the things that have hardened your heart, and after you do this ask yourself, “how would I rather process this event, instead of focusing on my anger or fear?” The fairy tales in our mind, the stories we tell about perfection, keep us from living a real life. So hat stories have you been telling, that have been keeping you trapped from living a more fulfilling, loving, and happier life?

I Keep A Soft Heart In A Hardened World

 

 

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

 

 

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
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