Patrick and Sam Cullinane are relationship experts; expertise which has resulted from their experiences as they moved through the ups and downs of the rocky marriage they endured with each other. The first decade of their 20-year marriage ended with a twelve-month separation and signed divorce papers. The second decade was an invigorating climb back up the mountain which can be described as refreshed love and intimacy leading to newfound closeness and personal growth. Their challenges and discoveries are shared in an easy-to-follow, authentic format in their recent book called, Bigger Love: How to Have the Love of Your Life for the rest of Your Life.  Patrick and Sam now teach their own proven methods to other couples who yearn for over-the-top relationships.

Contact Info

Website: www.BiggerLove.com

Book: Bigger Love: How To Have The Love of Your Life For The Rest of Your Life by Patrick and Sam Cullinane

Podcast: DoggyStyle

Most Influential Person

Patrick: Sam Cullinane

Sam: Julianna Raye of Unified Mindfulness

Effect on Emotions

Sam: Well, mindfulness allows me to understand what I'm feeling to begin with because I think a lot of times I just let, I realized now that I've let my emotions sort of push me around in my life. Now I recognize I'm not my emotions. They are something that happens to me. So those recognitions have changed my life entirely.

Patrick: The feelings are real, but how you choose to react to the feelings, that's what you have control over. So the emotion is typically your choice in reaction or your body's physical reaction to the feelings.

Thoughts on Breathing

Patrick: Well, that's interesting because we spent a day with a Peruvian Shaman last year who talked to us about breathing and ever since he was talking to us about it, I see it. I'm like, oh my God, somebody told us about this last year and so he was talking to us about this now and so you know how the universe conspires to put things in front of you once you figure it out. Um, but yeah, we will use just taking a normal breath in a day where we're doing what, 28 percent capacity of our lungs and feeding your body. And so just just forcing yourself to breathe when I feel any stress or laying there having trouble sleeping or any of that, I just breathe. I try to maximize my lung capacity, hold it for a little bit, oxygenate my body and then breath out. Then I have to do that, focus on my breathing when I meditate.

Sam: It's amazing, but as soon as I take my mind to my breath, I'm in the moment. It's immediate. So I love to use that in meditation. I use it if I get frustrated, I focus on the breath. Breath is instrumental in my life and my mindfulness practice.

Suggested Resources

Sam's Book: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny and Ron McMillan

Patrick's Book: Man's Search For Meaning by Victor Frankl

App: No app

Bullying Story

Patrick: Sam brought up the fact that she thinks the biggest bully she sees is me bullying myself. Do you know what I mean? My dialogue of beating myself up and that kind of thing. So yeah, absolutely. not doing it. It's, it's part of the love yourself thing.

I recognize that I have a tendency to, to beat myself up a little bit or self deprecate, you know, do those types of things. And so I try not to bully myself by being mindful and loving myself and forgiveness. Self-Forgiveness is the key to all that. It's like, OK, I screwed up and I'm over it.

Sam: I do have a bullying story. I guess I don't know if mindfulness would have helped or not. So I grew up in Salt Lake City when I went to elementary school in Salt Lake City and then we started moving. It's primarily Mormon community and I'm not Mormon.

I was raised sort of Episcopalian and I think when, I can't remember how old they are when they get baptized, but it's older, it's like third or fourth grade, I want to say they're eight. So at age eight they get baptized and I think that's when they start