Mindful Mondays-# 317 November 13th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Listen With Deep Openness

I think about the ocean when I think about silence. And maybe that might sound crazy as waves are crashing and sloshing back and forth from high tide to low tide all the time. As the water seems to eat more of the earth until it’s satisfied and retreats…only to come back later because of its incessant hunger. But I think of the ocean as a vast calm, because when you are standing on the shore at night, you can see for miles and get lost and be wowed in the infiniteness of this earth.

And what’s so interesting about this image for me, is I don’t swim very well. I have a deep fear of water. I have a fear of the depths of water and not being able to see what’s around or under me. I think the movie Jaws did that to me. So in my mind I actually see myself screaming in agony as I’m drowning or being pursued by lustfully hungry sharks or mutant fish… and the reason I bring up such a crazy dichotomy between a silent ocean and me screaming to a drowning death…is that it’s all within my mind how I want to see something beautiful in front of me. I can either see the beauty of mother nature, or I can see the fears in my mind.

Judgement gets a bad rap…because we add our personal opinions or stories to what’s in front of us. And while the ocean can be dangerous, it can also be a wonderful calming experience. When we utilize the strength of judgement we look at both sides. We don’t make quick assumptions as we are willing to take some of our fears and stories out of the picture and work to see all angles of an event.

I was watching the Documentary on ESPN called OJ: Made in America about the life and trial of O.J. Simpson…and there are a lot of questions asked about race. I’ve been raised a certain way in my community, so there are living situations end events that I can think about…but I truly cannot fathom.  And I found myself working hard not to come to any quick assumptions or conclusions, but to really see the matter from each person’s point of view talking. Whether it be from the detectives and policemen, the jurors, the different opinions from the  ethnicities of black or white individuals, the victims, the accused, and the friends of the accused.

And it’s a hard thing to do, to leave your experiences or suppositions on the table and work to really hear people out and be in their shoes. I worked to not see people as right or wrong, but to see and hear where they were coming from. And I think when we look to connect with a deep openness, something different occurs in life. In my experience I would usually try to argue a point and prove why I’m right, but I hope that by doing more of this it will help me to be open to hearing people and understanding them.

It doesn’t mean we lay down and let people walk over us, but I think it means we truly seek to understand first before trying to be understood.

So how can you listen with a deep openness to people and the world around you? I think when we can let go of always trying to be right or get our point across, we can authentically hear and connect with people on a deeper level. And when we do this…it becomes less left or right, black or white, right or wrong…and it becomes I hear you and respect you. Judgement isn’t a bad word, we think that it means coming to a conclusion right away, but it’s really about stepping back and seeing all the angles, not just ours.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
As Stephen Covey said in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, seek first to understand than to be understood…how can you pause before going straight into conclusion mode? How can you see someone’s side and empathize more with someone before solely going to your side of things. It’s not that you can’t have an opinion or that you have to be wrong if someone else has a differing opinion…but it’s about connecting with people. We spend so much time separating ourselves from each other that it feels natural to feel isolated. It feels natural to always be in conflict…but it doesn’t have to be that way. Take time to understand people first, to see things from their experiences and not automatically judge, but just to hear them. Most people want to be heard in life, what if you were the person that allowed people to be heard? What if you made people feel important because you tried to see things from both sides…not just yours? There’s only one way to find out…

I Listen With Deep Openness

 

 

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

 

 

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
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