MAN WHO CLAIMED TO BE A VAMPIRE IN A MIDTOWN PARK BEFORE BITING THE HEADS OFF OF PIGEONS AND TURNING THEM UP TO GUZZLE THEIR BLOOD HAS A GOOD DEFENSE ATTORNEY WHO IS HAMMERING OUT A TREATMENT-BASED OPTION FOR HER CLIENT. FUNNY, USUALLY THE LAWYERS ARE THE BLOODSUCKERS. 

A MAN CAUGHT ON VIDEO SODOMIZING HIS GIRLFRIEND'S PET MALTESE, NAMED PRINCESS, WILL AVOID JAIL TIME BUT CANNOT OWN A DOG FOR FIVE YEARS. AND THAT GIRLFRIEND, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IS NOW HIS WIFE.

A RIKERS GUARD IS BRUTALLY BEATEN BY AN INMATE, WHEN HE WAS JUMPED AND TAKEN OFF GUARD IN AN CORRIDOR. THE INMATE HAD CALLED 311 TWICE THE NIGHT BEFORE AND DECLARED HIS INTENTION TO MURDER A GUARD, BUT NO ONE BOTHERED TO CONVEY THIS THE CORRECTIONS OFFICERS ON STAFF AT THE CITY'S MOST TROUBLED JAIL. THE GUARD SUFFERED A BROKEN JAW.

HOST PAT DIXON AND FREQUENT CO-HOST SETH BARRON DISCUSS A BROAD RANGE OF TOPICS ALONG THE THEME OF CRIME IN NEW YORK CITY, AND FIND UNEXPECTED CONNECTIONS LOGICAL, ASSOCIATIVE AND ABSURD BETWEEN THE CRIMES IN THE DAYS TABLOIDS AND THE TENSIONS OF TODAY'S SEXUAL POLITICS, AS WELL AS ACTUAL POLITICAL POLITICS, ART, MUSIC, SEX, DEATH, HISTORY AND WHAT THEY MIGHT'VE HAD FOR LUNCH. 

TOPICS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE INCLUDE, ROMAN PHILOSOPHER SENECA THE YOUNGER AND HIS SUICIDE, WHY MICE ARE PRESUMED TO ENJOY CHEESE, EX-GIRLFRIENDS, THE PAINTER BALTHUS, JAIL REFORM, MAYOR DE BLASIO'S HOUSING POLICIES AND MUCH MORE INCLUDING A DISCUSSION OF A RADICAL NEW IDEA IN THE TREATMENT OF ANIMAL ABUSERS. MANDATORY (AS IN COURT-ORDERED) ANIMAL CRUELTY, WHICH WOULD BE MANAGED AND SUPERVISED BY THE CITY. COULD THIS BE REAL?

 

MURDER - A MAN WALKED INTO THE 50TH PRECINCT IN THE BRONX AND TURNED HIMSELF IN FOR THE GRISLY FATAL 2013 STABBING OF A 62-YR-OLD HOMELESS MAN. 

FREQUENT CO-HOST SETH BARRON BRIEFLY DISCUSSES THE FATE OF HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND WHO IS CURRENTLY AWAITING TRIAL IN THE ATTEMPTED MURDER OF THE FATHER OF HER CHILD. IT'S ALLEGED SHE TALKED HER IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG COUSIN INTO ATTEMPTING TO CARRY OUT HER MURDEROUS PLOT TO STAB AND BEAT HER EX TO DEATH INSIDE HIS OFFICE. 

A SHOCKING SURVEY OF WOMEN IN NEW YORK CITY, DESIGNED TO SHED LIGHT ON THEIR SENSE OF "WELLNESS" IN THIS AGE OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT CLAIMS AND HIGH LEVELS OF INFERTILITY, CONCLUDES THAT 74% OF BIG APPLE WOMEN HAVE CRINGEWORTHY BODIES, POSSIBLY FROM HAVING SHIFTED INTEREST FROM LOVE AND SEX TO FOOD AND DRINK. THE MAJORITY OF WOMEN IN NYC DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT LOVE OR SEX ANYMORE AND CONSIDER A PLATE OF SHRIMP TO BE SUPERIOR TO INTIMACY. WE COMMENT. 

 

 

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