The Big Wedding Planning Podcast

#34 Unofficial Officiant


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More and more couples are choosing someone very special in their lives to officiate their wedding ceremony. We want to tell you about those very special people out there and how that all works. Officiating weddings when you’re not really an officiant? How does that work?

It used to be that couples who were not getting married in a House of Worship would have an “Officiant For Hire” marry them. These are seasoned professionals who put a lot of work and time and thought into writing a ceremony for their clients. When you hire them to be your officiant, they take the lead on writing your ceremony script which is one of the hardest parts.

Christy is going to be a guest at 3 weddings in the next 6 weeks and all 3 have friends as their officiants. Not only that but 2 of these ceremonies will incorporate a “Toast” to their guests as part of the ceremony. Drinks in hand.

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  • Big Takeaways

    Choose the right person. Someone you trust and cares about you as a couple. Someone who believes in marriage.

    • This is not just about public speaking
    • A Big Ego need not apply
    • Engaging / Comforting
    • Once you ask this person, be realistic and let them know how much work it will entail and how much you expect from them.

      • It’s not a small ask. You expect them to be there for you. To help you write the ceremony. To come up with some beautiful words and thoughts.
      • There will be lots of emails back and forth
      • There will be a couple of times you get together and work on the ceremony
      • They need to be there for the rehearsal
      • They need to wear appropriate attire or maybe even something specific that fits with your theme or colors.
      • They need to arrive early and on time on the wedding day.
      • They need to get ordained
      • How does one become a legal ordained minister?

        Whomever you choose must get ordained to legally perform a wedding. Christy will be officiating her cousin’s wedding and is using Universal Life Church . ULC is a an online non-denominational, non-profit religious organization. And guess what? You can become ordained in a matter of minutes for free! But be aware that depending on where the ceremony is going to take place, you may need to register with the city or county as well. You can easily look this up here.

        You need to compensate that special person!

        It is customary that you, the couple give this special person a thoughtful gift for doing this. Not only that, but if they do not live local to the wedding location, you should offer to pay for their travel costs and hotel.

        The Ceremony Script:

        One of the pros is the freedom to write your own script, but it can also be a con because of how hard it is to do and especially if you are asking that of your friend who is officiating.

        The couple getting married should create an outline of the order of events for the ceremony script.

        Some couples choose to take care of the legal part prior to the wedding date.

        Links We Referenced

        Universal Life Church

        Dr. Lawrence Krauss

        Love Wins Texas (the only same-sex wedding magazine).

        Get In Touch: 

        The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is…

        Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez 

        • Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics 
        • On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!
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          The Big Wedding Planning PodcastBy Michelle Martinez & Shaun Gray

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