Welcome back to Six Minute Sex Ed, the podcast that helps families talk about sex and relationships, hosted by Sex Education teacher, Kim Cavill: https://www.teaandintimacy.com/

This week’s episode is Level Two, and we’re going to talk about healthy relationships

The most common answers young people give me when I ask them to describe healthy relationships:

Mutual support

Freedom to be yourself

Freedom to speak

Acceptance of Friends, family, or carers

Boundaries

Conflict resolution

What’s most important to you, when it comes to healthy relationships?

When I ask young people to describe barriers to healthy relationships, these are their most common answers:

Abuse

Criticism

Lying

Control

Dependence

One of the reasons why it’s hard to talk about relationships is that very unhealthy relationships can feel healthy to the people in them, even though they’re not. It’s painful not just for the people in the unhealthy relationship, but also for the people who love and care for them. It’s extremely difficult to be in an unhealthy relationship because unhealthy behaviors make people feel very isolated: like they’re on their own and no one can or will help. At the same time, it’s really hard to care for someone who’s being abused and feel like you can’t help.

If you’re not sure if you’re in an unhealthy relationship, there’s an online quiz you can take from the great organization Love is Respect:

https://www.loveisrespect.org/for-someone-else/is-my-relationship-healthy-quiz/

You can also call love is respect.org at 1-866-331-9474 or text LOVE IS to 22522

You can also call the domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233:

https://www.thehotline.org/

Having been in abusive situations in the past, I know calling hotlines can seem intimidating. There are other people who can help you: close friends, trusted adults, social workers (including school social workers), councilors, doctors, nurses, and teachers.

I know how alone abuse and unhealthy relationships made me feel and if there’s one thing I could tell my younger self it’s that I was worth fighting for, and worth protecting, and it’s not just OK but MY JOB to prioritize my own safety over other people’s feelings.

Check the show notes for some good resources on healthy relationships by Scarleteen and Amaze.org:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn7ZQ2x0cOE

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/hello_sailor_how_to_build_board_and_navigate_a_healthy_relationship

If you’re a middle or high school teacher, check out these great lesson plans on health relationships: https://sfusdhealtheducation.org/be-real-be-ready-2/

Questions and comments to [email protected] and sign up on Patreon for as little as $3/month to get access to the episode archive: https://www.patreon.com/sexpositiveparent