Today you will hear crickets.

No, really. You will hear…crickets.

It’s actually quite relaxing to hear them in the background, not distractingly loud but still an ever present reminder of the world around us. It’s nice.

You know what else is nice? Flying Dog “The Fear” Imperial Pumpkin Ale. And at 9% abv, it’s really nice! Greg formulated a new drink from a dwindling bar. You know what they say, when you have Cynar (…pronounced “Chee-nar”…) make Cynar-ade. And that’s precisely what happened. The drink…is “Cynar the Barbarian.” The recipe…is quite simple, though the ingredients are not commonplace. If you have them, or if you have access to them, you should really give this a shot. Start with a tall glass (…pint glass, highball glass, medium-sized mason jar, whatevs…) and fill it with ice. Then, build this: 1.25 ounces Cynar (…the large side of a traditional jigger, or a full shot plus a tiny pourover…), 1.25 ounces port wine (…doesn’t need to be expensive, just port…), 1.25 ounces lapsang souchang sweet tea (…or you can make a cup of whatever tea you like. Make it strong and super saturate it with sugar to make an almost syrupy sweet tea. Squeezing in a quarter to a half lemon won’t hurt either…), then fill the glass with sparkling mineral water (i.e. Perrier) or club soda. Stir, and enjoy. It’s kind of bitter, kind of sweet, kind of smoky, and very complex.

Today, Greg drags Jen into the office to take a look at an old Hollywood friend (…at least for those of us in our late 30’s to mid 40’s who grew up with The Goonies, The Lost Boys, Stand By Me, Gremlins, or The ‘burbs, among others…), Corey Feldman. Greg felt that the Feldman presentation would be hilarious and amusing, but it turns out that Corey’s journey from child superstar to grown-ass man is quite predictable and sad…and while this podcast isn’t a bummer, it’s certainly not a laugh riot.

Greg moves through his agenda, which includes:

> Corey Haim is dead
> Corey Feldman’s “company”, Corey’s Angels*
> Corey Feldman’s “music,” Remember 222 & Assention Millennium.
> Corey’s apparent Michael Jackson infatuation.
> Corey Feldman’s performance at a minor league baseball game     and his subsequent loss of a Special Olympics gig.
> Vice.com’s reports from Feldman’s birthday parties,
     in 2013 & 2014.
> Celebrity wife swap with Feldman and Tommy Davidson.
     Yikes, double yikes, and triple yikes.

*Since recording this podcast, just last week, Corey has apparently pulled the plug on everything related to Corey’s Angels. Quadruple yikes. Here is his endorsed fluff piece.

Jen claims, quite accurately, to Greg, “You want me to do things in your head but I’m a person.” This is where Corey Feldman is doing things right, as his Maingel (“main angel”) states, “I’m a fruitarian, which means I only eat fruit.” Though, not really, because she later writes a message for the camera which states, quite emphatically, “Help me!!” There is no joke in her facial expression. The lesson here? It’s better to have a real relationship with an honest, caring, and independent human being rather than a cultish fetish with women desperate to become models, or actresses, or Maingels.

So really, it became quite difficult to laugh at Corey…

But the drinks were outstanding, even if the music wasn’t. (Though we do close strong with, “Cry Little Sister,” by G Tom Mac. Remember that? Click here. How about now?)

We present to you, “The Lost Boy.”