No matter how we tackle this issue of comparison on the surface it is so vital that we do some digging and ask ourselves what is at the root of this problem? Who are the people who really seem to trigger us? What is it about them? Why do we think that is? Instead of just feeling the feelings and jumping into our coping mechanisms, unearth the pain that comes up and where it may reside in our hearts. What is the belief we have bought about our unworthiness? Has this woman actually intended to make us feel this way, is it really her fault, or is it something I have yet to let Jesus have full access to in my brokenness?

We believe somewhere deep down, sometimes greater in one season than another, that we are not acceptable, lovable, worthy. I don’t know about you but I assume people are going to be as mean to me as I am to myself and so building walls , judging other, pushing others away, seems much safer. Like an exposed nerve we react than daring to hold still and saying, “even right now, even in my lack, even when my heart hurts so bad and I don’t feel like I have anything to offer, please help me receive your love.” When we dig to the bottom and we find what is underneath the pain we experience in comparison we find that other people often have little to do with what it is we’re truly struggling with.

We may continue to struggle with this, but we can put some things in place to help us fight against it. One thing we can do is learn how to define for ourselves what we call “SUCCESS”. If we think whatever someone else is doing is what we have to do in order to be successful we will always struggle and always feel like we aren’t measuring up but we can re frame our thinking, take our thoughts captive and put on the mind of Christ. Maybe for us, success is that our children are joyful and feel secure? Maybe it’s getting three workouts done in a week? Maybe it’s getting a date night with our husband or spending good, quality time with the Lord in His Word and worshiping Him. Maybe our success is too ambiguous and so we’re always seeming to reach for something, but it’s not even really what we want. What is it that God, not our society defines as successful?

In John 21 we see Peter being restored by Jesus and Him prophesying to Peter all the things that He would suffer for Jesus’ sake. We see John saunter up and Peter asks the Lord, “What about him?” Jesus answers him as He answers us, “What is that to you? You must follow me.” The only one we can be responsible for how they followed Jesus, is ourselves. Keep following Him bravely!

SHOW NOTES:

https://www.ashleymorganjackson.com/podcast/2019/9/5/podcast-ep4-how-to-handle-comparison

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