Welcome to Unchecked Baggage, a podcast with hosts Lena and Rob, all about relationship advice. Join the conversation as they discuss emotional baggage, blended families, love, sex, relationships, and life. Lena and Rob are here to help you with your baggage—life is too short to be weighed down by unchecked baggage. Listen today as they discuss sexual compatibility.

While there’s no official definition for the term, sexual compatibility can be considered the extent to which a couple perceives and shares sexual beliefs, preferences, desires and needs with their partner. According to Lena, it’s a difficult thing to pin down. But whether your relationship has it or not, it should be quite obvious. Many people still feel shame in regards to discussing their sexual desires, which results in their needs not being met by a partner. When you first meet someone new, hormones are so high that it can be difficult to gauge sexual compatibility. Rob offers some questions you could ask to determine your new partner’s regular sex drive.

So, can sexual compatibility be fixed? To a certain degree, Lena believes it can be. First, you have to get to the bottom of why someone has lost interest. With effective communication, this can typically be addressed. There are instances of unfixable sexual incompatibility, such as if a couple is no longer attracted to each other or are no longer committed to the relationship.  A sexless marriage refers to couples who have sex less than 10 times in a year, or only on special occasions. Rob gives a few tips of how to spice up a sex life in a rut, such as visiting a sex shop together, try a sex therapist, watch pornography or role playing.

If none of these tips work, maybe it’s time to reexamine your relationship. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship they aren’t totally happy in, and being sexually satisfied is a big part of this.

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For more information about sexual compatibility and the relationship stats provided on this episode, check out the following links:

• https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/10/style/sexless-relationships-men-low-libido.html