All of us have times in our lives where we find ourselves paralyzed, depressed, hurt, or deeply wounded. It may have come from the hand of another or from our own hand in decisions we made. But wherever our pain comes from, unless we are able and willing to let it go we will continue to live on the margins, in bitterness, or with diminished hope. Especially painful are wounds given by fellow believers. The Apostle Paul understood pain and wounds inflicted by believers and unbelievers. In fact, there were false apostles in the Corinthian church who tried to marginalize him, hurt his reputation and who spread false rumors about his character. It doesn’t get more hurtful than that. In response to those false apostles Paul wrote this:

Whatever anyone else dares to boast about—I am speaking as a fool—I also dare to boast about. Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they Abraham’s descendants? So am I. Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn? - 2 Corinthians 11:21-29 (NIV)

You can hear the pain and frustration in these words. These were wounds designed to hurt him to the core. They were aimed at the things he cared the most about: faith, followership of Jesus, character, and his humility. How was it that Paul was able to overcome these kinds of circumstances and keep on going strong? How did he let go so he could move on? The answer is actually found in his letter to the Philippians where he wrote this: 

“I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 3:12-14 (NIV)

Like us, Paul had to come to terms with his wounds and the people who wounded him. He had to come to terms with relational breaks like he experienced with John Mark and Barnabas. He had to forgive those who had hurt him so that he didn’t live in bitterness. He also had to forgive himself for times when he admits he did not live up to God’s standards - calling himself the most wretched of sinners. Like us, he had to let go and move on.

Above all, Paul trained himself to let go of the past, which was behind him, so that he could reach for the future, which was in front of him. He lived his life looking forward, not behind, with the goal of pleasing God with whatever time he had left.

As you look at your life today, are you looking back or looking forward? Is the past holding you back or are you, like Paul, straining toward what is ahead? It is the difference between a diminished and a renewed life.

Father, I give to You today the wounds, bitterness, sadness, and broken places of my heart. I want to live life looking forward, not backward. I want to live in freedom, not burdened with the past. Help me to embrace Your vision for my future and let go of anything that holds me back. Amen.