In a world where technological progress supposedly makes our lives easier, the humble USB cable stands as humanity's greatest monument to deliberate confusion. What began in 1995 as a simple idea to standardize connections has evolved into a sprawling, incomprehensible ecosystem that leaves even veteran engineers weeping in the cable aisle at any decent electronics shop still operating physically. Welcome to the USB Standards Thunderdome, where seven connectors enter, and somehow we end up with seventeen more.