Gary (00:42):

What's going on DMN8 Nation? It's your boy, Gary Geiman. We're here with our new format that I've been talking about for the past couple days, and I have a very, very special guest, good friend of mine because every interview we do is gonna be a friend of mine, not a friend of ours, friend of mine, mafia reference, you don't get it, that's just too bad. But friend of mine, and I believe she's gonna bring you a ton of value, especially my entrepreneurs that are just starting out and like learning how to sell, convince, make more money. It's what it's all about. Right? So to the podcast today we have Sonya Ray all the way from the warm, lovely, beautiful state of Arizona, by the way, is that, are you originally from Arizona? You're not, right? You're like, Northeastern chick went to Arizona.

Sonja (01:39):

No, I'm like out of the country trick that came to United States. Yeah, I was born in Germany. I'm an army brat. Both parents, both sides.

Gary (01:47):

Nice.

Sonja (01:48):

Yeah. Yeah.

Gary (01:50):

So entire childhood or just part of your childhood?

Sonja (01:53):

Part of my childhood. So both parents were in the army, so we traveled quite a bit and then lived in California for a little while, Nevada, and then been in Arizona now, I believe is the longest stint of time I've been here. And honestly, it hasn't been very warm out here. We've been having cold freezes and some of y'all a lot warmer than us, so I don't won't hear it.

Gary (02:13):

You're in Phoenix, so you can't even complain. 

Sonja (02:17):

38 degrees?

Gary (02:18):

You got your cold freezes, it gets to 30. Like I wish that that was our cold freeze was 30. But yeah. Cool. So I did not know that about you. I did not know that you lived in Germany for a little bit. How long were you in Germany?

Sonja (02:33):

Pretty much, I'm gonna say till I was eight years old. I even spoke German fluently. Apparently I went to German schools. I had a German nanny, so yeah. But when I said apparently reason being is I didn't find out till later on in my adult age that I even was able to do that because I had such a fucked up childhood that I forgot a lot of my shit. So yeah. Complete foreign language is just gone.

Gary (03:04):

I mean, that's what makes us high performing individuals so great is the fucked up childhood. Like, if you don't have a fucked up childhood, how can you be great as an adult? Like you got to face some adversity, learn how to overcome adversity, persevere, boom, here we are. Right? And so my audience obviously does not know who you are and so we just found out a little bit about your childhood and you know, being an army brat and all of that. But besides the fact that you're probably one of the few girls that I know that appreciates a cigar.

Sonja (03:45):

And a badass car.

Gary (03:47):

Yeah, we, we'll disagree on that, but yeah. And you like to take very cold baths. Tell us a little bit about like your journey to becoming getting into the entrepreneurial space and kind of a background about you so we can get to know you.

Sonja (04:10):

Gotcha. Let's see, journey on the entrepreneurial space. I was actually reflecting a little bit on that earlier, I started that off when I was young. Like, I don't know about you, but like, it wasn't elementary school, I'll take that back, no, I think in elementary school I was doing like the candy thing. Selling candy at school, and then in middle school, and this is where I aged myself, I was selling those friendship bracelets.

Sonja (04:36):

Yeah.

Gary (04:37):

You didn't age yourself too much. You're younger than me, so, yeah.

Sonja (04:40):

Not by much though. I'm serious. It's not by much. Think about it this way, my son this month is gonna be 27 years old and I did not have him when I was a teenager. Yeah. So, not gonna share my age cause women don't share their age. So I'll stick with that stereotype. But anyhow. So, but before that too, like, shoot, I had been working since I was young as well. Like I got my first job at a huge food corporation when I was 10. And that's because I think cause my stepdad was the number one sales guy, so like sure. We'll let her work. Yeah. So I was working, doing that. I've been a waitress, I have been an accountant, I've been a bartender, I've been the mortgage industry, I used to sell precious metals, gold and silver, and then it wasn't until, you know, my later years as like, I just ended up going full board, just entrepreneurial and going into real estate and such like that and had definite ups and downs, but I've been still with it, and going along with it now for five years.

Gary (05:52):

So one thing that you kind of glossed over, but it is the backbone of most of what you've done, it's a backbone of what I've done. And I always say like, this is a skill as a business owner, you have to develop. And you're one of the people that I consider to be good at it, and that is sales, right? So much so, that you actually coach people. You have a coaching group where you help them develop their sales skills, and so talk a little bit about that. Like obviously selling candy bars, I sold candy bars too. I mean, I hated that. But, you know, you look back at it knocking on the door, Hey, will you buy my candy bar? That probably sucks. 

Sonja (06:38):

Oh no, I talking about it, I was selling it at school.

Gary (06:41):

Oh, okay. Even better.

Sonja (06:42):

Yeah. So my return on investment was huge. 

Gary (06:45):

Yeah. So selling the candy obviously being a waitress, being a bartender, those are all sales oriented positions because if people don't like you, they're not going to tip you, and it's part of the sales funnel to know, like, and trust. So looking, you know, looking into that sales world that you've been in for a long time, I mean, you rattled off a ton of jobs that were either sales jobs or they were sales related jobs.  

Sonja (07:22):

Right. Or got into it because I was good at selling myself in a sense. Where I had a job when I was 12 years old working at a dentist place, doing their books for their insurance on their cards. I didn't interview for that. I didn't do anything, you know, but I sold myself in like, hey, I was a responsible 12 year old being able to handle your paperwork.

Gary (07:44):

Right. So talk a little bit about that. I mean, that's pretty impressive by itself, obviously. But talk a little bit about that, like the sales journey and where you started, what you learned, and then where you're at now where you're actually helping others develop their sales skills?

Sonja (08:06):

Right. So, as I had said before too, you know, my stepdad was a salesman. His brothers were salesman. So I grew up around that, and that was like around when I was eight years old. My stepdad was in my life, so a long time of that, and then as well too, movies have been a huge part of learning more with sales. Like Boiler Room is my number one sales movie,

Gary (08:33):

Number one all time!

Sonja (08:34):

There we go. There we go.

Gary (08:36):

Not even a chance. 

Sonja (08:37):

Thank you. And if you don't know, if you've never seen it, you're in sales, you are doing yourself a disservice, stop this thing now and go watch that fricking movie.

Gary (08:45):

Go watch it. Yeah, absolutely. It's gotta be on Netflix or Prime.

Sonja (08:49):

You could buy it. I ended up buying it. 

Gary (08:52):

Oh I own it. It's in my Prime library. Like there are so many skills to sales in that movie that you can't not learn by watching. I think number two is probably, Jerry McGuire. But I mean, the part where, you know, he's on the phone and he is trying to get the, you know, people to, to talk to him so he can yell "reco" And he gets the doctor to say tell me a little bit more about that stock. And he yells "reco", and Vin Diesel comes over and does a classic, I mean, he slow played that doctor the whole way through, and sure, like it looked really sleazy, but let's be honest, at the end of the day, that is the sales process. You let them talk, you answer questions, you let them talk, you ask them questions, you let them talk. And you know, I've always learned, tell me if you've heard this too, I'm sure you have the first person who talks loses, right? And VIN Diesel showed that really, really well. One of my favorite lines of that movie, and me and a buddy of mine, we say it all the time, is "2,000? 2,000? Tell me why only 2,000?" Right?

Sonja (10:07):

Yeah. Which is it's that classic anchoring. So I would say another really great sales book out there, one of my number ones that I always say when people ask me about sales books is Never Split the Difference by Chris Foss. Really great book. It's got tons of nuggets in there that you can apply in any type of sales that you do. So back to everything else, crap, I just freaking we went on a sideways tangent

Gary (10:35):

Because I was my fault. So yeah, I mean, we were just basically, that's what I do. So talking about the sales journey, the journey you had getting to like where you're at today, where you're coaching others and developing your process. I don't know about you, but you know, my first like, real sales job where I got paid was selling lawn care, and I look back at when I did that when I was 19 versus how I sell now, you know, been selling for over 30 years. So I have a comfort, like there's a comfort where I'm sure you've watched people like have call reluctance. 

Sonja (11:13):

I don't get that.

Gary (11:14):

And neither do I, but I've seen people have it. Right?

Sonja (11:17):

Yeah. Yeah. It's a real thing. I don't, and I almost like just pick up the phone. Like I'll call anybody, like Right. I don't care what you sell. Like, gimme on the phone, I'll call them. I don't care if I know them. I don't need to know their backstory. Just gimme the number, gimme the person's name. Done.

Gary (11:32):

So what is it that you think that got you to that point? Because I mean, I'm there too, I'm not afraid to call anybody and have a hard conversation or, you know, ask the question. And I know you're not as well. What is it that you think that got you to that point? Being able to do that where there's others, like, I mean I've literally watched somebody stare at the phone for two hours.

Sonja (11:59):

Honestly, I don't know a point of time where I was ever intimidated by it, honestly. Because one of my number one human needs is like Tony Robin talks about is growth. So like, and it shows in too with like my other stuff that I do. Like I do, as you call it, the cold baths, my cold plunge, you know, I do those things. You know, I'm at 43 degrees and I will dunk my head under, unlike what Ryan Stewman tries to say, where women don't go underneath the water cause they're worried about the hair. No. It's the first thing I do. As soon as I get the water, bam on my head, it's going under.

Gary (12:36):

You know, I did a cold plunge one time. Our hot water was out and I had to take a shower.

Sonja (12:45):

There's a difference.

Gary (12:46):

It was the worst thing in the world. But go but sorry, go, go ahead. 

Sonja (12:50):

Oh no, no. I just was saying the cold showers is actually pretty easy compared to a cold plunge. If you do a cold plunge and then take a cold shower. It's kind of interesting cause a shower actually feels warm.

Gary (13:04):

Hmm. Yeah. That did not feel warm that day. And come to find out hot water heater was leaking so we could have fixed it if I would've just been paying attention. I went out, I had a cold shower that day, but I digress once again. Let's talk about, so you and I both have we're both high level salespeople. There's a lot of business owners that aren't and that's fine. Like, there's nothing wrong with that. Right? But let's talk about like, and I'll give you mine after you do yours, but cause ladies first. Let's talk about where we feel our strengths, where your strength is in the sales process. You know, if you break the process down, everybody wants to be the stone cold closer, and sure, like, yeah. But before the close, you know, there's the introduction, there's that, you can call it a bunch of different things. The introduction, the Q & A, the process, you know, the process, the approval to get to go to the next step or the delivery of the solution. Like tell us where you feel you excel in that process and why?

Sonja (14:21):

My overall, honestly favorite, favorite thing is motivation is finding out why. Why are they even looking in the first place? Why are they even considering this? That phone is ringing. Why are they even considering this in the first place? Like, why are they considering this in the first place? But the other thing too is, and this is like one of my favorite things that I do teach on when I do teach this is when we talk about motivation, we don't stay surface level. We're taking it that next step deep. So they might tell you, oh, so here I'm gonna relate this to like real estate. Somebody's looking to possibly sell their property. They're saying, oh, I'm looking to downsize. Well that's surface level, so now I'm gonna ask them an impact question, or some say socratic. So when you say downsize, what do you mean?  Because downsizing to me can be something else different than you. Right. So the other part of things too is I enjoy finding out how they view the world and how they see things. Because once you understand that and how they see stuff, it's so much more easier to give them the solution in order to move them the next step forward on things.

Gary (15:26):

That's a good, that's a good point. Understanding why you're on that call. And there it's their why not your why, right? Mm-Hmm. is huge. I, I I feel like I'm probably in the middle of either like providing the solution or asking the, ah, take that back. I, my, my strength in the sales process is asking the questions based upon what they're doing so we can get to the root of their problem. A little bit different than what you are saying. Like you're talking about the why, right? Mm-Hmm. , and Sure. What I'm talking about kind of loosely, but if you think about it, every sales call has a problem, right? And it's, you're, you're, you're finding out from that kind of human level like what it is they need, what it is they want, right? You know, if if, if, if I was selling a dating service to a dude, I know what he wants, right?

Gary (16:32):

But when you're still in a cool woman who nice, so cool woman, like there could be multiple reasons why, because women are just so much more of a complex person than us men. And so you have to really dive deep. And in dealing with business owners, a lot of times newer business owners like I try to like look at or determine what they've done already, what they've tried mm-hmm. , because it's typical, like in my space, you'll hear this doesn't work or that doesn't work. And what I really believe is it just means you didn't do it right? Like, I've done types of marketing that don't work for me. It doesn't mean they don't work. And so if you, if you, I, you know, I like to drill down and, and here like hear the pain I got almost want them to kind of live in that pain again.

Gary (17:23):

So that they can help they, they can see me helping them get rid of that pain. Right. But very interesting how you were ta how you take it to the want. And you're right. Like you know, downsizing is a great, is a great analogy related especially to meaning something different for everybody. Like, for some people downsizing just means I want a smaller place so I don't have to do all the stupid stuff that I do on a bigger place. Doesn't mean I want a less expensive place, right. Just means I want less square footage. Right. Some people downsizing means I, I wanna eliminate some debt. I, I don't, don't wanna have as much of a payment. Right? and so finding out what that means at the core helps you be able to then say, okay, great. So here's what I think I can do for you. Right? Right.

Sonja (18:14):

Because now we're getting to the root of the issue. Yeah. The same thing. It's almost the same thing too. Like when you're having a medical cha a medical issue or whatnot, how are you gonna solve that? You get to the root of the problem. You don't just like, oh, I've got a headache, I'm gonna take some aspirin. That's not so, you know, that's not a solution. It's a quick bandaid. I'd rather have a solution, let's get it done.

Gary (18:32):

Yeah. Probably not everybody's solution is stop eating sugar. But that's mostly my solution for every health problem is just don't eat sugar, Gary. So, you know, doctor there, there's just such non-fun people really, you know, like, don't smoke, don't drink, don't eat sugar. Like you're fun at parties, you know what I mean?

Sonja (18:54):

Hey, I am fun at parties though. I don't you not

Gary (18:57):

A doctor.

Sonja (18:58):

I know. But I, but so much study that I have done with like alternative medicines because that was the other thing too, like the reason being I got into Nicole plunging and stuff like that was to help because I've got, you know, I've got two different autoimmune challenges and one of them have had for 13 years now. Wow. And you know, all doctors wanna do, they didn't, they, they're not even very educated, unfortunately, say a nutrition, so they didn't even go that route. All they wanna do is just throw pills down your throat and see you in about a month. Yeah. They just wanna manage what you've got going on. They don't ever really wanna fix. So yeah, that's like one of my passion things is I go towards with finding a natural solution for things natural alternative solution. So it's not always gonna be this cookie cutter sort of thing.

Gary (19:46):

Yeah. So let's take a little bit of a, of a, of a side going down a side road for a second. Cuz you brought up something and you know, a lot of people don't realize how strong my willpower is. So Sonya and I were in a mastermind together. We actually had another friend his name is Scott, who lives in Columbia. And Scott likes to put weird things up his nose. And these two ask me we were at a, we were at a meetup. Gary would, would, would you like to put tobacco up your nose? And what was my response to that?

Sonja (20:22):

No, no.

Gary (20:23):

Hell no. I mean, hello. People think that they can peer pressure me and what they don't understand is like I invented peer pressure. Like I am the reason why people make bad decisions and I just wasn't making that bad decision. But speaking of that, tell, tell us a little bit about that experience because it, it, it's very like I'm never gonna do it, but it was very That's fine to hear. And Scott is one of those guys that he's done a ton of and you know, I I I think he and I are having a conversation next week and

Sonja (20:55):

Oh, there you

Gary (20:55):

Go. I'm on his podcast, he's on my podcast kind of thing. But Scott is one of those people that, two things about him that I love, number one is he is one of the most calm and most collective individuals. Like there could be a bomb go off and he'd be like, well, what we probably should do is find the nearest exit.

Sonja (21:15):

That's so spot on too, right? Like, I don't, well I know Scott too as well, so it's just so funny. Like I know all these other people listening to like, who the hell is this Scott Guy? But yeah, and the

Gary (21:25):

Other thing about Scott is he has crazy good perspective. He's younger than both of us, probably by 20 years. He's

Sonja (21:33):

Younger than my son. What are you talking about?

Gary (21:35):

Yeah. Yeah. So, but he has crazy good perspective and so I'm, we're we're not knocking Scott and, and

Sonja (21:43):

Oh no, no, no.

Gary (21:44):

He knows we're not. So tell us a little bit about that experience and like what the what the quote unquote benefits were for the audience.

Sonja (21:54):

Okay, so in regards to this type of medicine it, it's, it's, they've used it, they've been using it for, for years upon years. And it's very, it helps with grounding and just being more spiritual. So that's another thing too. Like I ground every day. I've been doing that now for almost four years, but this is just another way in order to do that. So it was just very interesting. I didn't realize the, the mega dose that Scott had given me until the other day when I did ca combo. And that's another thing I did an alternative medicine. It's a, it's a frog thing. So , so I had, I had that stuff again put in my nose,

Gary (22:36):

These, these two people talking to, talking to the rooted Pentecostal, Jesus loving freak. And, but I curse a lot. And they're telling me this stuff. This is a okay, I've never smoked pot. Like I, I've, I don't even, I haven't even looked at anything el illicit when it comes to, to drugs. Not that this is, but they're like saying, oh, this, all that. And all I'm thinking in my head is like, Jesus ain't gonna like that. He is not going to lie.

Sonja (23:05):

It's from the earth. But anyway, it's the same. It's like, so I'm

Gary (23:09):

Just tell like

Sonja (23:09):

I'm, I'm, I'm there. He Jesus made

Gary (23:11):

It very, I'm very weird. I'm

Sonja (23:13):

Very weird. Yes, we all know that one . So

Gary (23:15):

Jesus made wine too, and I love some wine.

Sonja (23:18):

See, and that was his first, his first thing too. Like he turned

Gary (23:22):

Not did you made tequila first, but go ahead.

Sonja (23:23):

No, he made turn. No, I'm saying his first miracle was water into wine. That

Gary (23:27):

Was recorded. That was recorded.

Sonja (23:29):

That's true. That's true.

Gary (23:31):

Should made tequila. I feel tequila comes straight from God. I really believe that.

Sonja (23:35):

Please, I disagree on that one. , totally disagree, but that's okay. . So yeah, no j just a lot of this stuff is actually, you know, from the, the Earth mm-hmm. . And this again, like the, the tobacco is from the earth or like, there's some other stuff too that, that brother Scott and I do as well as like some mind expanding stuff like the, the cell ibin. So again,

Gary (23:58):

Well, and then our, our there's a quarterback in the N F L who just went on a journey and he's done some stuff like Scott has done mm-hmm. . And they, you know, I believe, I can't speak for them. I believe it's because it helps them get into a spiritual realm or be in touch with that. I've heard, you know it's funny because I was telling my wife this, like, of all the people that I could meet when I, you know, when when I got into this mastermind, the second meetup, I meet this guy Scott, who was absolutely and totally different from me. Yes. Well, we hit it off like we were, we, we turned into close friends. We, we message all the time. He refers me business I mean it's, it's, it's a, it is, it is an episode of the Odd Couple by far. I mean, but cool dude. And you know, I'm, I'm not, I'm, I'm not too fuddy-duddy to where I can't hear about some of this stuff and understand it. I'm just, there's only one thing I do with tobacco and I smoke it, smoke

Sonja (25:07):

It. Usually

Gary (25:08):

It's ara wrapper. 

Sonja (25:11):

You know, you can turn the cigar the other way around and blow the smoke out of it. And then the, the smoke lines can show the meridian points in the body.

Gary (25:19):

She, she is like, I mean, seriously. What, hey, this is, this is what this is what though perspective can do in terms of what you do with something, how somebody else does something else with it. And it creates a totally different type of experience if you think about that in the entrepreneur space. Cuz everybody's thinking, how's it gonna turn that around? But if you think about it in the entrepreneur space, two different people can take the same problem and go at it in different ways. Sometimes with good results, but sometimes with bad results, right? Mm-Hmm. . And so understanding what others have done before you and, and this is probably one of the biggest lessons that I've learned from Scott, a guy who's 20 years plus younger than me, but a lesson that I've learned from Scott and then I continue to learn it from my, my man Alex more mosey is like not paying the dumb tax over and over and over again. You know? Yeah. We, we know that there are options or opportunities that exist on this journey and we know like what can work and what won't work because others have tried the and made it work or others, many others have tried things that don't work. So like we, we know that, right?

Want to know more about Sonja Ray then links down below:

Website: sonjathebadass.com
Facebook: Sonja Ray
Instagram: sonjaray129