What would you say like on this and because, I call it, I mean, it's like, you know, Coolio, fantastic journey, being an entrepreneur, like, what would you say biggest lesson you've learned from being an entrepreneur? 

The biggest one is being okay and embracing when you've got to pivot on things. Sometimes we'll have a plan and like, oh yeah, this is how it's gonna go, and you know, it's like there's that thing. Show God your plan and if you're ready for him to laugh at you, sort of quote thing, oh, I screw up quotes all the time, but most people understand what the hell I'm getting to. 

Yeah. Well, I was talking about, if I quote from like the Bible, I'll say the Gary Geiman version says because everybody's got a version, why can't I have a version, right? 

That's true, because there are a lot of versions. 

Yeah. 

That's the other thing too. Do you ever get people are surprised that you are like into the Bible and stuff, cause I know I do. Like somebody is like, surprised you go to church.

Yeah. 

Yeah, I'm just like, I've been in the Bible, like, I'm like every day, like I'm at like 248 days of consistently in the Bible. So I'm like, that's like one of my daily routines. 

Yeah. I grew up going to Sunday school. I didn't miss a Sunday school for like 13 years, something like that. 52 weeks, 13 years went every Sunday. 

Damn. 

And church two, three times a week. Like, that's how I grew up. So, you know, by osmosis. I learned a lot of this at the same time. You know, I'm 50 years old, I don't believe something because somebody else tells me to believe it. I went through my own journey of discovery and, I have a lot of weird, probably different beliefs and a lot of mainline Christians, you know, like number one, Nephilim. That's a big one. Sons of God came unto the daughters of man Genesis six. Go look it up, it'll mess you up for days. The other thing that I really go back and forth with is reincarnation.  I don't think it's wrong to like have beliefs or not necessarily beliefs, but to want to find out or maybe say, okay, maybe there is this, because unless I'm totally wrong, and I'm not a Bible scholar to know this, but there isn't a specific passage in the Bible that says "there is no such thing as reincarnation." And lemme tell you something...  

I haven't seen it, and I've read the Bible five times in his entirety. 

There are some crazy stuff in the Bible. I mean, there are two dudes in the Bible that never died. You know, Enoch and... 

Yeah, I knew Enoch. I don't know the other one. 

I'm trying to think of the, of, of who, it was the prophet, Elijah, one of the two. They walked with God. I think it was Elijah, but if I'm wrong, just tell me so I know I'm wrong. I love when social media people tell me I'm wrong, but that's fine. Tell me I'm wrong. I don't care. But Enoch did not die.

Right.

He was taken to be with God. And, like you mean to tell me that could happen, but yet reincarnation isn't a thing. Like, there's clues in the Bible that says the creation that's mentioned in Genesis might have been the second creation. Cause there's words around it that say things like before and again and things like that, and so like taking a stance and saying, this is the only way is the wrong stance. And that is not just in religion, but in business as well. 

Yeah.

We hear it all the time and we hear it from people that usually are broke. So take that as a lesson that if you believe something is the only way, then probably you are going to be broke, if you believe that, right? And I think as I've gotten older, obviously my mind has been open to things just the opposite of what you know, supposed to happen. As you get older, you're supposed to be close. First I've got, as I've gotten older, I've been more open-minded to things, to put myself in connection with people who have different beliefs and different understandings, and it helps you to grow, helps you to grow. And, and like one of my biggest lessons as an entrepreneur is to not accept the status quo as being what to expect, like you talked about, pivot. You know, I've had three times in my life that you could call it a crash and burn, either business, emotionally or physically. Primarily business and emotionally, and it's tough. It's a tough struggle. In 2007, I just come off of own mortgage company for almost 10 years and, we weren't prepared cause we didn't have anything but state licensing and when the crash happened, you know, FHA and VA was about the only thing that was happening. And, you know, we had lenders go out of business in Groves. Like, I had 50 loans in one week that were in rescission that weren't coming out of rescission cause the lenders were out of business, you know? There's nothing Gary's doing about that, and I had people that worked for me that relied on that money, and so I came out of 2007 and I was like, I'm never owning a business again. It's not happening. I'm tired, I'm done. Right? And two years later, after working for somebody and building their dream, "fuck this, I'm gonna own a business again." Right? But you have to be okay with, with like understanding life's gonna take you in directions and how you respond and how you overcome put you where you're at today. You know, 2014 was one of my lowest, lowest years ever. And it's funny, I found two people online that have shaped me ever since then. Yeah, one of those was going through the same lows that I was going through, Sean Whalen. I literally heard his video the day after he had a gun in his mouth talking about his ex-wife and how he needed to respond and be part of his children's life and not be at war with her, and I wasn't going through the same exact thing, but I was going through a really, really nasty, ugly divorce. Part of that, most of that I created, let's be honest. And I hear that and it's like, dude's not wrong. Right? He's not wrong. And Sean Whalen, you know, he doesn't know this, but we're best friends. But he's somebody that if you listen to what he says, he's speaking truth, the truth hurts. 

It's supposed to and it's going to.  You know, but the truth shall set you free shall set too as well, right? 

And so business owners in general, having like a steeled mind to things that can work or things that can help you grow. Like if you're not constantly on a path of growth, like Sonya said, she's constantly looking for growth. If you're not constantly on a path to growth, you're gonna stagnate. And when you stagnate, you fucking die. You know? Yeah.

Look at, look at Sears. You remember, do you remember that company? Do you remember Kmart? Like, they used to like outperform Walmart way back in the day in the day. And they didn't wanna change. Like, no, no, no. We're the best. We know what we're doing. Same thing too, like blockbuster. I think what, there's one final one left. There'll probably always be one for just the nostalgia sake of things. But if you don't pivot, what will happen? 

Exactly. I remember when Netflix first came on the scene with subscription DVD 

DVDs! 

And it was, oh, they're not gonna put blockbuster out. Blockbusters got it made. And in fact, I believe, there was a play by one of them to buy the other. And it didn't happen. And, you know, because I'm better. Blockbuster had this, we're better, what we do is better. They didn't have an idea that, look, people don't want to go to the freaking store.

Yep. 

And then get there and the video's not there, and they got to wait because it's checked out, and they're gonna get a call in a couple days and then go pick it up. But then they're not gonna have time to watch it cause it's not on the weekend anymore. They didn't realize that, oh, somebody's gonna come out with something on demand you can watch this shit. Right. And it fucked them. So yeah, I think learning lessons as an entrepreneur, like if you are not, you're not gonna be around very long, cause I look at the times when I did, when I had the, especially 2007, which was a complete business crash and burn. I just didn't want to do the things that I was being told that I should be.

Right. I hear you on that one. I also too, I want to piggyback on something else that you had mentioned in regards with age. You know, a lot of times when people are like, oh, you know, older you are the wiser you get. And that's not always necessarily true. But I will say I do know some very young, young people out there who are very, very, very highly intelligent.

Yeah. 

And they just know. So just because we might be some older folk out there and we've got some of the wisdom, I do not think, you know, it's always cause of an age thing. Cause like I said, I even know some people from the group we were in that, you know, just light years ahead at their age.

Yeah. 

I was like, damn, I wish I was like that at that age. 

I mean, in my company, you know, I'm 50, but then our average age is probably 25 after that. I mean, it's, young individuals can have a great capacity for learning and I think learning is the key to success in anything that you do. If you're willing to learn something, if you're willing to learn a skill, you'll put yourself in a position to be able to expand your ability to make money. 

But there's the other thing too, there's another caveat on top of that. There's a lot of people who are busy learning and they'll learn, learn, learn, learn. But you gotta apply it as well.

Not learning action. Absolutely.

Yeah. 

Because there's a bunch of know-it-alls 

Talking about it doesn't do anything, but you got to be about it. If you're about it, then you can make stuff happen. Tell us about, so currently,  I know you coach other individuals, helping them become strong salespeople. And I said real estate, but really it's business owners, entrepreneurs, that type of thing. Tell us a little bit about that program, how that works, and maybe somebody who's out there listening, like, I need Sonja to help me fix my non sales ability. 

So, two of the ones that I had was one where I was getting hired by companies and I was working with their sales team, and I would be listening to their recordings and going over those recordings. That's another thing too, guys, if you are in sales, you want to make sure you are checking your tape. You want to be listening to yourself. How is your tonality? What are you saying? Do you have a process? Are you making sure you're hitting those different points? Because if you do not, and you are, just keep going off the cuff, you are going to do yourself a disservice because you are not gonna be able to grow because you don't have something scalable there. So anyhow, back to the other point of things. I would listen to to recordings for their sales guys, and I would coach them through those different things. And then the other part of it too is I would have one-on-one sessions with them, which is a very, very huge thing that you want to have in your company because there could be stuff in the background that you might not know that's going on in these people's lives because mind you, you could know how to sell and be great at it, but if your mindset is fucked up, you can have a really shitty month. So that's where, and some of the boss guys are like, I don't understand why you got to go on the mindset the mindset shit, it's so important because these guys knows what to do, but their head's not in it, so they're fucking up, they know better, but we just have to get over these other things cause maybe, oh, they're having female issues or they're just not feeling this or that or some sort of health challenge, and so it's really important, I really highly, highly suggest this to anybody who's got a business that you make sure you're doing one-on-ones with your guys and that you know what's going on in their lives, you know, what their goals are and sort of things because you just never know until you sit down with them and have that.

Right, right. 

So I would be doing that for those companies there. The other thing that I offer too is I do live training sessions and it's only for a month and we typically have five classes we go over the process with the sales and everything else like that. I teach in acronyms and I started doing that before everybody else was talking, publicize about it. Jim Quicks always about it cause he talks about it limitless, and that's a great way to remember, I started using that. So, cause like I said, I deal with lupus at times I would have brain fog. So, a easier way for me to remember was using acronyms and tying into that. So from disability I ended up having a powerful ability. So anyhow, and that's how I train and teach and people are, you're able to remember it better. So we would go through all that. And the other thing that I do when I train these people and coach and teach them is, one, which is not only just my business, but it's also my personal core value is going above and beyond, so we generally have five set classes, but I ended up doing this time six because I had two of my students was English was a second language, and I really wanted to make sure that they had everything down so I did extra for them to make sure that they were all good, and after, like we said, I just finished this just yesterday, and just the text message that I get from these people, it's pretty rad. They're like, "thank you so much. You really care, blah, blah, blah." Anyhow, the other part where I teach differently than everybody else is I make them apply this and I hold them accountable. So I teach them how to do it and now they need to send me a recording cause now we're all gonna listen to this together and I'm gonna coach them through that call and let them know. I'll praise them. Cause that's important too. You can't just be on people and just tell them all the bad shit. You got to tell them some of the good stuff they've done as well too. So I'll go on the praise and then I'll go on where they could have adjusted or corrected things. So not only do they learn, but they are applying what they learn and I hold them accountable. And a lot of these other people out there, that's not what they do. They just throw you a thing, here you go, go learn, and it's all on you. It's live as well, so we go in deep. So if somebody has a specific question, we can dissect that, and I'm always different on stuff, so like, I might teach the same thing, but you're always gonna get something a little different.

Good. Good. It's important that you are constantly developing sales skills, especially if you're in a business, especially, because that's the difference between eating and not eating. And, especially if you're new, owning a business. Like maybe selling isn't something that you're used to. A lot of people were good technicians. They feel like they're really good technicians, so want to do it themselves. But you have to develop those other skills that are necessary besides the actual servicing of the client to get clients. And, knowing how to structure a sales process. Like people hate scripts. "Hey, I hate a script." Okay. 

But that's, I love that! That's part of my first one that I teach, I go over foundation first. 

Yeah. 

Cause you don't have a strong foundation. 

Sucks. Yeah, absolutely. 

So one of the parts is script reluctance. I bring up a, I have, and I'm also too very visual when I teach as well, because everybody learns in different ways. So some people are audio, some people are visual, some people are kinesthetic. So long story short, script reluctance, I have show like, oh, what is Star Wars, Step Brothers, The Karate Kid, and The Departed all have in common? 

They were scripts. 

Exactly. So when they say, oh, you sound like a robot. Well, (robotic voice) "if you read like a robot, you sound like it." All those movies have scripts. So come on guys, pull that at your butt and get over it. 

Yeah, make it your own. If you make the conversation your own, it's not a script. If you understand what the purpose is to get the prospect to talk to you, it's not a script. I mean, you know, most of my audiences, are dudes, there's some women, but I mean, for you guys listening, you didn't meet a girl by going up to her and going, (robotic voice) "hello, my name is Gary. Do you like guys." Like you, that's not how you did it, right? But you knew you had to go introduce yourself, right? So I think it's really important to be always be working that skill out, whether it's by actually doing or training and, you know, you can't just wake up one day and be a great salesperson. I always can tell people that say they're great at sales and I watch them or listen to them, they don't have a focus on what the purpose of the call is or what the purpose that they're having that conversation is. And a good salesperson goes into a conversation, phone call, face-to-face, whatever, and there's a definite goal in mind, right? Sometimes the goal changes once you figure out maybe that they aren't quite as qualified as they acted like they were. And maybe then it's more about setting them up for next time, but they're definitely goals in mind and having somebody like Sonja help you with that and you know, work out those biceps, if you will. Helps you get better, helps you make more money. Sonja, how can everybody get in touch with you? 

All right. 

Slide into her DMs.

That's just the funny part. So, yeah, I have been off of social media. 

You can't slide into her DMs.

 Oh. You can slide in, but there's not gonna be any sight onto it right now. I've been on social media, what's the word? What's the best word? 

Sabbatical? 

Sabbatical, yeah. For almost three months now...

No comment. No comment. 

Yep. You can feel free.  I know you, you've already commented.

I've already commented. 

Yeah. But the people haven't heard your comments. 

Oh, that's all right. 

Are you sure? 

I mean, you have your reasons for sure.

Oh yeah. Of course I do. 

And so your reasons are your reasons. So I'm not, that's not my job to. Do I think people should be on social media if they're trying to make money. Fuck yes. But I think you have a set of reasons that it's more of a reset more than a sabbatical, right? Am I right?

So it's not only just a reset, but also as well too, my health has kind of gone a little bit tipsy. I've just really wanted to make that more of a focus versus, you know, the time on the social media and such like that. And I just didn't want to be sharing all the time those challenges because I've been having them a lot more so than the typical.

Yeah. 

So I put that to the wayside too, as well. So it's kind of like a few different things. So anyways, back to the point. So if you go to Sonja, sonjathebadass.com. If you go there, I've got a a page there, there's a contact form there, and you can get in contact with me there. Eventually I will be back on the Facebook and on IG (Instagram). Those are the only two social platforms that I do do use, and I believe IG, it's sonjaray129 and the 129 is my birthday, so nobody can forget it. And I just think, the Facebook is just Sonja Ray and you'll see my picture with me smiling on a private plane with Mr.Stewart 

sonjathebadass.com. We'll put that in the notes and then, link to your profile, so when she is back inactive, you'll be able to witness her, stories of cold plunging and early morning walks, that she likes to take. Weren't you taking a walk and you came upon some coyotes? Was it Coyotes? 

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So they're right down the street and there's a nice little pack of them, and they're pretty big and they are not afraid of humans at all. 

Yeah, you showed me a picture. They were almost the size of wolves. Yeah, they're pretty big wolves. So, I mean, that's crazy. That's crazy. 

They're not tiny. So yeah. That was also too like one of the things I got into after doing 75 hard and unfortunately I wasn't able to complete live hard cause my health started going down by the time I got to phase three. But I did phase one phase two and 75 all the way through. I mean, literally there was times I was like crawling on the floor just to finish, to get things done. Or when I had 102 fever, and I am outside in my backyard for the 45 minutes doing yoga cuz I'm like, I think I was on like day 54 or something. I'm like, I'm getting this done. I'm, I did not get this far. You know? It was interesting because like, like I said, when you've got lupus, it's a whole another animal. So I just like, you got extra weights on you to where it's a bitch for sure.

But you're proof, you can overcome that stuff and continually fight it to do the things that you need to do to be successful. I mean, I think some people would take it, and just like give up unfortunately. And I think you know, I've had conversations with you where you were either in the midst or coming out of dealing with an uproar of it, I guess you'd call it. And, you were getting through, putting your head down, get through, and like health is one of those things that it's hard unless you're going through it to really understand what it is, you know, like how bad it's affecting you. And, you know, the mind over pain concept is one of those things. 

Oh, we haven't, we didn't even go into, I used to be in a wheelchair. 

Yeah. So I mean, you talked a little bit about mindset, obviously, but I think that's been your superpower. You know, a lot of people say, oh, mindset's my superpower, blah, blah, blah. That's probably been your superpower throughout your life. Wouldn't you say that the number one? 

That and connection, honestly. And I have a great ability to connect with all different types of people. I mean, case in point, Mr. Gary Geiman. There we go.  

Crazy man. 

You know what I mean? So that's the other one of the things too. But I will say in regards to the health challenge of things. Just being able to embrace it and it's been a great teacher honestly, because of my health challenges that's what got me into going to church and doing all that stuff I didn't grow up in that stuff I had turned an eye to it because I was like, I don't understand a God who couldn't allow a child to be abused and keep allowing not to happen. So I was like that. I'm done with that stuff. Yeah. So it's been a really great teacher and I have grown a lot from the health challenges of things. 

Right, right. Well, cool. It's been great to talk to you and share you with the people that listen to the DMN8 The Day podcast.

I call them the DMN8 Nation because you're here, you want to DMN8, and hopefully we brought you a few things that you can take back with you later today, tomorrow, whenever you're listening to this podcast, go DMN8. Go change somebody's life first, but then go DMN8 your day!