You know you love us. Trolls and cyberbullies of the 2020s decade have nothing on Gossip Girl, who was really just around to terrorize a niche group of privileged white rich kids and the Brooklyn poors who plagued them. YOU CANNOT BEAT AN EARLY 2000S CW SHOW, SO DON'T EVEN TRY. Kristen Bell truly brings life to Dan Humphrey's psychotic tendencies, and we're all just along for the ride. You may think you know where all these kids along, but my sources tell me you probably don't. You may also be asking, why the Nate Archibald erasure? Blame Rachel for that one, she doesn't think he has main character energy. So instead we sort the mess that is Dan, Serena, Chuck and Blair. Spoiler alert: there is not a single Ravenclaw to be found here. Do y'all even read these descriptions? You should, it's where I do my best work, just like GG. Too bad she wasn't Georgina, or Derota like we all deserved. Anyway. XOXO GG.