Welcome back for Season 4! We do some housekeeping, posit on what life would be like if Rachel Berry went to college with us, the Little Miss David Schwimmer Beauty Pageant, no vibes just pecs, and we meet the Cassandra July, who has issues. Hat Girl Marley is here now, too, coming in hot with some really sad scenes. We have a Pitch Perfect conspiracy theory, and Kurt needs to LEAVE.

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