European folk, besieged in the East and invaded in the South, believed their civilization was at stake. They heard all about the Muslim invasions in the Balkans and the Muslim destruction of Christian Egypt. So the truth is there were many battles prior to the Crusades and in this episode I unpack three of those: one in Syria, one in Constantinople, and one in Southern Spain. What particular things ocurred in those battles to swing the outcome? What did the Muslims want? What did they especially want from out of Constantinople? What particular things (weather even) greatly impacted these battles? How did each respective side theologically interpret the outcome of the battles? In the show's opening I reflect on how the Gospel works inside both persons and cultures. Against shallow (popular) piety I argue the Gospel does not come to destroy the person, or the culture. And in fact? The Gospel does not come to make each respective person or culture more American. Come laugh and think with me.