Your child’s cognitive development shows up in how they now react to you leaving. They understand object permanence so they know you are still somewhere when you disappear. They miss you when you leave.

That makes it harder for you to leave because you don’t want them to be upset. But if you go back when they cry, you are reinforcing the crying. That means they’re more likely to cry again the next time, and they might cry even harder if that’s what it takes to get you to come back. (This is not conscious on their part, it’s just how intermittent reinforcement works.)

Today’s activity: Have a regular routine that you follow when leaving your child in someone else’s care. Discuss it with the other adult so you both understand what you are doing and why. Get your goodbye hug, then let the other adult get your child engaged in something distracting. Be consistent—once you leave, don’t turn back.

Use these charts as a checklist for your child's progress.

Send your questions to [email protected].

Visit www.TheInteractionCoach.com to see the directory of speech-language pathologists licensed in your area. If you can’t find one in the directory, contact me at [email protected] and I’ll track down someone for you.