Vanessa Blakeslee and I discuss the classic of comparative mythology, Joseph Campbell's The Hero with a Thousand Faces. While this is a work of scholarship not directly intended for creative writers, its lessons are of immense value to anyone writing adventure, fantasy, or science fiction. We reference Star Wars, The Matrix, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, The Bible, and Pinocchio, among other works, and mention the trials of academic discourse that are meant to be confused with the belly of the beast.