Ladies and gentlemen! Step right up, don't be shy, there's nothing to be scared of here, nothing at all, we're just a bunch of really friendly, charming, hilarious, and definitely not at all creepy, CLOWNS!

Wait, where are you going? Why is everyone running for the hills? Turn 'round, head on back! We seriously put a lot of work into this show for you. Why don't you respect our profession? We are dedicated artists whose purpose is to please!

Well fellas, looks like another night with no audience. Want to go down to Main St. and stand under a street light and laugh into all hours of the night? I mean, nothing better to do, right?