In the forty-second episode of The Motherwhelm, I am joined by Mahaley, therapist, co-author of 'Your NICU Story', and mother of four. She shares the loss of her second daughter, Sacchi, and talks about how it shaped her subsequent birth and surrogacy journey, and what it means to parent while living with grief and fear.

We talk about the ongoing balance of honouring loss without letting it overshadow the lives of her living children - and how she works to give them a full, joyful childhood while carrying such profound grief.

Texts mentioned in this episode:

• 'Your NICU Story: Reflecting on Your Family's Experience' by Mahaly Patel and Emily Souder
• 'The Whole Brain Child' by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
• 'How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen' by Joanna Faber and Julie King
• 'The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years' by Emily Oster
• Dr Becky Kennedy's ouvre
• 'Untangled' by Lisa Damour
• 'Reviving Ophelia; by Mary Pipher