Hello everyone, this is Matt. I’ve wrested Joe’s keyboard away from him to bring you this urgent message: I’m being held hostage in game #42: The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, and I need you to come save me. I believe I’m being kept in a bad dungeon, which I understand doesn’t narrow it down very much. Oh god, he’s coming, make sure you burn this message before he can—

Matt has unfortunately and painfully died of scurvy, just take my word for it.

Join us next time as we pick up our swords and meet our dragon wives in Smashterpiece #42: Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade