I mishear lyrics just like all of you. Except, what I hear often doesn’t make a damn bit of sense. These things become hellish earworms and I walk around repeating them, both in my head and out loud, like an anxious child with an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Example 1: The song “Geronimo” by Sheppard. The chorus is like a communicable disease already, but my mind became convinced that the lyric was, “Hey, Palumbo,” not, “Say, Geronimo.”

Examples 2 & 3: The song “Uptown Funk” by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars. Here’s the first lyric in question, “Too hot (hot damn).” Easy, right? Not for my fucked up frontal lobe. I get locked on this and hear an incessant loop of, “Too hot (two pants),” followed by some combination of police, frying pans, and ampersands.  Here’s the second comical lyric, (…which doesn’t make a lick of sense already…), “Smoother than a fresh dry skippy.” My version? “Colder than an cold, cold titty.” (Really people, I’m neither being purposefully odd nor am I attempting to get you to laugh by creating off the cuff. This is the shit that bangs around in my head…like for-fucking-ever.)

Today, Jen and I talk about all of that…mess…as well as what I call, “Captain Obvious lyrics.”  Then, we dive headfirst into the awful, cotton candy flavored pool of Kidz Bop. Do you know this? If you have children, you likely do. Do you like Kidzbop? If you do, stop reading this because you’re either a child with parents who don’t love you or you’re an adult with nefarious proclivities. Kidzbop. Yikes. There are now 30 of them. “What is it?” You ask. The producers take a handful of currently popular songs, rewrite them in an attempt to be Rated less-than-G, hire a decent karaoke cover-band and a bunch of super-earnest, too-excited, musically-inclined kids to play and sing them, and then aurally abuse anyone who can hear.  There are CD’s, digital downloads, videos, video games, clothing, a myriad of other merch, and world tours.  Really, it’s a thing.  A huge thing.

The Kidz Bop conversation leads us back to another similar endeavor from Maddy, circa Kindergarten. KidSongs Here’s an example of what we endured for many, many months…on repeat…right HERE. (Beware, you can’t unsee or unhear this. And yes, it is rated G, but it is neither safe for work nor your sanity.)

Fortunately, we have beer. Today, Jen has “Rampant” imperial IPA from New Belium. I have “Warlock” from Southern Tier, an imperial stout brewed with pumpkins. These are both amazing, and you should try them.

Also, you should try this podcast. Right now. We present to you, “Whatchoo Talkin’ ’bout, Willis?!”

(P.S.  You’ll notice occasional buzzy noises, similar to the noises used in Japanese horror flicks.  Kinda creepy.  Sorry about that, but we have the equipment we have.  For now.  You can make that change!  Do us a favor, huh, and use the amazon link in the upper right corner […yep, that’s it…] to shop.  Also, you can directly donate to us through Paypal.  Also to the right. […up a little…a little more…bam! That’s it…] We love yinz!)

(On the other hand…I love the sage who uses this amazon link!)