Self Centered with Katie and Allie

44. The Loop of Avoidance: Why You Can’t Live a Centered Life While Running from Discomfort


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Transformation and post traumatic growth doesn’t always feel bright or inspiring at the start. More often, it feels like walking through fog - scary, heavy, and disorienting - because the path forward is unknown. In this episode, we help you recognize when you’re stuck in looping patterns of avoidance, over-functioning, or self-abandonment that keep you circling in the dark. You’ll learn why surrendering to discomfort, rather than resisting it, is the key to breaking the loop and moving toward real growth. This conversation will give you hope and practical guidance to step out of the fog and into true transformation.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

  • Why transformation and growth often begins in darkness and how to reframe breakdowns as invitations to grow.
  • How to recognize the looping patterns of avoidance, over-functioning, and self-abandonment that keep you stuck.
  • When to lean into discomfort and surrender to the process instead of resisting it.
  • How to use emotions like anger and guilt as signals guiding you back to your center.
  • The Fool's Journey and how Tarot, psilocybin, and religious metaphors encourage you to move your way out of the fog.
  • Why facing your shadows builds resilience, self-trust, and the ability to move through future challenges with greater ease.

RESOURCES:

  • Episode 2 - Staying in Your Seat
  • Episodes 4 & 36 - Dartboard Metaphor
  • Richard Tedeschi & Lawrence Calhoun – Post-Traumatic Growth
  • Portia Nelson – "Autobiography in Five Chapters"

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DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

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Self Centered with Katie and AllieBy Katie Kurtz and Allie West

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