It's not hard to find: anguish in the hearts and minds of twenty-first century church goers. Why? Why the existential shreddedness? Folks are torn. Torn between a deep sense of compassion and clear biblical values. Torn between Christianity that is Liberal/Progressive and Christianity that is Conservative/Confessing. And recent matters have torn folks, too. When a neighborhood teenage girl undergoes a radical mastectomy because she is confused, believers are conflicted. When ICE arrests criminals and immigrants, believers are torn. When people get shot in Minnesota more people are torn in half. What to do? I offer a kind of UU sorting hat, a series of biblical values (not doctrines) that I am using now when I myself am conflicted and torn. Come think with me about existential shreddedness and what to do. (This pod concludes the series on Christians in the Matrix.)