Generations of LGBTQ+ people grew up searching for the elders who never came. In this powerful Pride episode, Stuart Merrill and Adaline Reid explore the legacy of AIDS, queer isolation, and the healing power of chosen family.

Generations of LGBTQ+ people grew up searching for the elders who never came. In this powerful Pride episode, Stuart Merrill and Adaline Reid explore the legacy of AIDS, queer isolation, and the healing power of chosen family.

46. Queer Orphans

A podcast by Stuart Merrill: LGBTQ+ rights activist, lobbyist, historian, and survivor.I Woke Up This Gay is a firsthand journey through LGBTQ+ history—the history they never taught you—and the stories of heroes they want you to forget. These are stories from someone who knew, loved, and witnessed many of them change the world.The journey begins with &#34;Russia Doesn&#39;t Have Gay Heroes,&#34; the story of Kostya, Stuart&#39;s boyfriend, a hero of the 1991 revolution that brought down Soviet communism. Two days after that victory, he was assasinated by the new government he help establish—a victim of a society unwilling to accept a gay hero.Born into a prominent Mormon family, Stuart Merrill survived anti-gay violence, came out during the height of the AIDS epidemic, worked for U.S. intelligence agencies in the Soviet Union, East and West Germany, was the first American in history allowed to keep his top secret security clearance after coming out as gay, lived and worked openly as a gay man in six countries, and later became an LGBTQ+ rights advocate and lobbyist..Through personal stories, interviews, history, and hard-won lessons, Stuart explores the people, events, victories, and tragedies that shaped modern queer life. From the AIDS crisis and the fight for equality to surviving religious extremism, political activism, and the collapse of the Soviet Union, these are stories of resilience, courage, loss, and hope.As anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric and legislation rise once again, preserving our history has never been more important. The best way to fight hatred is to tell our stories.My name is Stuart Merrill.And I Woke Up This Gay. #IWokeUpThisGay #IWokeUpThisGayPodcast #LGBTQPodcast #GayPodcast #PodcastLife #PodcastCommunity #PodcastRecommendations #IndependentPodcast #StorytellingPodcast #HistoryPodcast #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #GayRights #Pride #QueerVoices #QueerHistory #GayHistory #LGBTQHistory #QueerCommunity #RainbowCommunity #Pride365 #LoveIsLove #EqualityForAll #QueerStories #OutAndProud #LGBTQActivism #GayRightsActivist #HumanRights #CivilRights #Equality #Advocacy #SocialJustice #GrassrootsActivism #PoliticalAdvocacy #ChangeMakers #HiddenHistory #ForgottenHistory #LivingHistory #HistoryMatters #OralHistory #PersonalHistory #HistoryLovers #HistoricalStories #HistoryBuff #WitnessToHistory #GlobalLGBTQ #InternationalLGBTQ #AroundTheWorld #GlobalEquality #WorldHistory #CrossCultural #GlobalVoices #InternationalStories #USAHistory #CanadianHistory #AustralianHistory #SouthAfricaHistory #RussianHistory #SovietHistory #USSR #ColdWarHistory #PostSoviet #RussianLGBTQ #Memoir #MemoirWriting #PersonalJourney #LifeStory #TrueStories #ComingOutStory #LivedExperience #PersonalNarrative #LifeLessons #Storyteller #QueerElders #QueerArchives #LGBTQElders #QueerLegacy #PrideHistory #GayLiberation #StonewallGeneration #QueerResistance #LGBTQRightsHistory #HiddenQueerHistory #IWUTG #ThreeCandlesMemoir #QueerOrphans #QueerAcrossBorders #GlobalGayHistory #WitnessToPride #HistoryThroughPride #LivingQueerHistory #StoriesThatSurvived #Transgender #TransRights #TransLivesMatter #TransVisibility #TransVoices #TransCommunity #TransPride #TransHistory #TransJoy #TransAndProud #ProtectTransKids #TransEquality #TransLiberation #EqualRights #LGBTQRights #StandWithTransPeople #GenderJustice #TransAdvocacy #JusticeForTransPeople #TransAwareness #TransRepresentation #VisibilityMatters #RepresentationMatters #SeeTransPeople #TransStories #ListenToTransVoices #AuthenticSelf #BeYourself #LiveAuthentically #Nonbinary #NonBinaryPride #GenderDiverse #GenderNonconforming #GenderExpansive #Enby #BeyondTheBinary #GenderFreedom #GenderIdentity #NonbinaryVoices #ForgottenVoices #TransTrailblazers #KnowOurHistory #LGBTQCommunity #ChosenFamily #CommunitySupport #StrongerTogether #InclusiveFuture #UnityInDiversity #PrideMonth #Pride2026 #LGBTQVoices #CommunityAndPride #GayUSAHistory #QueerUSAHistory #LGBTQUSAHistory #GayCanadianHistory #QueerCanadianHistory #LGBTQCanadianHistory #GayAustralianHistory #QueerAustralianHistory #LGBTQAustralianHistory #GaySouthAfricaHistory #QueerSouthAfricaHistory #LGBTQSouthAfricaHistory #GayRussianHistory #QueerRussianHistory #LGBTQRussianHistory #GaySovietHistory #QueerSovietHistory #LGBTQSovietHistory #GayUSSR #QueerUSSR #LGBTQUSSR #GayColdWarHistory #QueerColdWarHistory #LGBTQColdWarHistory #GayPostSoviet #QueerPostSoviet #LGBTQPostSoviet #GayRussia #QueerRussia #LGBTQRussia #RussianGayHistory #RussianQueerHistory #RussianLGBTQHistory #GlobalQueerHistory #GlobalLGBTQHistory #Mormon #LDS #LatterDaySaints #MormonCulture #MormonHistory #LDSHistory #MormonStories #MormonLife #MormonCommunity #GayMormon #LGBTQMormon #QueerMormon #MormonLGBTQ #LDSLGBTQ #LDSGay #GayLDS #QueerFaith #FaithAndIdentity #LGBTQFaith #ExMormon #ExMo #PostMormon #RecoveringMormon #MormonTransition #ExMormonCommunity #ExMormonStories #LeavingTheChurch #FaithJourney #ReligiousTrauma #UtahHistory #ReligiousFreedom #ChurchAndState #FaithAndEquality #GayExMormon #QueerExMormon #MormonSurvivor #GrowingUpMormon #ComingOutMormon #MormonFamily #TellOurStory #OSWC #OregonSaferWorkersCoalition

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A podcast by Stuart Merrill: LGBTQ+ rights activist, lobbyist, historian, and survivor. I Woke Up This Gay is a firsthand journey through LGBTQ+ history—the history they never taught you—and the stories of heroes they want you to forget. These are stories from someone who knew, loved, and witnessed many of them change the world. The journey begins with "Russia Doesn't Have Gay Heroes," the story of Kostya, Stuart's boyfriend, a hero of the 1991 revolution that brought down Soviet communism. Two days after that victory, he was assasinated by the new government he help establish—a victim of a society unwilling to accept a gay hero. Born into a prominent Mormon family, Stuart Merrill survived anti-gay violence, came out during the height of the AIDS epidemic, worked for U.S. intelligence agencies in the Soviet Union, East and West Germany, was the first American in history allowed to keep his top secret security clearance after coming out as gay, lived and worked openly as a gay man in six countries, and later became an LGBTQ+ rights advocate and lobbyist.. Through personal stories, interviews, history, and hard-won lessons, Stuart explores the people, events, victories, and tragedies that shaped modern queer life. From the AIDS crisis and the fight for equality to surviving religious extremism, political activism, and the collapse of the Soviet Union, these are stories of resilience, courage, loss, and hope. As anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric and legislation rise once again, preserving our history has never been more important. The best way to fight hatred is to tell our stories. My name is Stuart Merrill. And I Woke Up This Gay. #IWokeUpThisGay #IWokeUpThisGayPodcast #LGBTQPodcast #GayPodcast #PodcastLife #PodcastCommunity #PodcastRecommendations #IndependentPodcast #StorytellingPodcast #HistoryPodcast #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #GayRights #Pride #QueerVoices #QueerHistory #GayHistory #LGBTQHistory #QueerCommunity #RainbowCommunity #Pride365 #LoveIsLove #EqualityForAll #QueerStories #OutAndProud #LGBTQActivism #GayRightsActivist #HumanRights #CivilRights #Equality #Advocacy #SocialJustice #GrassrootsActivism #PoliticalAdvocacy #ChangeMakers #HiddenHistory #ForgottenHistory #LivingHistory #HistoryMatters #OralHistory #PersonalHistory #HistoryLovers #HistoricalStories #HistoryBuff #WitnessToHistory #GlobalLGBTQ #InternationalLGBTQ #AroundTheWorld #GlobalEquality #WorldHistory #CrossCultural #GlobalVoices #InternationalStories #USAHistory #CanadianHistory #AustralianHistory #SouthAfricaHistory #RussianHistory #SovietHistory #USSR #ColdWarHistory #PostSoviet #RussianLGBTQ #Memoir #MemoirWriting #PersonalJourney #LifeStory #TrueStories #ComingOutStory #LivedExperience #PersonalNarrative #LifeLessons #Storyteller #QueerElders #QueerArchives #LGBTQElders #QueerLegacy #PrideHistory #GayLiberation #StonewallGeneration #QueerResistance #LGBTQRightsHistory #HiddenQueerHistory #IWUTG #ThreeCandlesMemoir #QueerOrphans #QueerAcrossBorders #GlobalGayHistory #WitnessToPride #HistoryThroughPride #LivingQueerHistory #StoriesThatSurvived #Transgender #TransRights #TransLivesMatter #TransVisibility #TransVoices #TransCommunity #TransPride #TransHistory #TransJoy #TransAndProud #ProtectTransKids #TransEquality #TransLiberation #EqualRights #LGBTQRights #StandWithTransPeople #GenderJustice #TransAdvocacy #JusticeForTransPeople #TransAwareness #TransRepresentation #VisibilityMatters #RepresentationMatters #SeeTransPeople #TransStories #ListenToTransVoices #AuthenticSelf #BeYourself #LiveAuthentically #Nonbinary #NonBinaryPride #GenderDiverse #GenderNonconforming #GenderExpansive #Enby #BeyondTheBinary #GenderFreedom #GenderIdentity #NonbinaryVoices #ForgottenVoices #TransTrailblazers #KnowOurHistory #LGBTQCommunity #ChosenFamily #CommunitySupport #StrongerTogether #InclusiveFuture #UnityInDiversity #PrideMonth #Pride2026 #LGBTQVoices #CommunityAndPride #GayUSAHistory #QueerUSAHistory #LGBTQUSAHistory #GayCanadianHistory #QueerCanadianHistory #LGBTQCanadianHistory #GayAustralianHistory #QueerAustralianHistory #LGBTQAustralianHistory #GaySouthAfricaHistory #QueerSouthAfricaHistory #LGBTQSouthAfricaHistory #GayRussianHistory #QueerRussianHistory #LGBTQRussianHistory #GaySovietHistory #QueerSovietHistory #LGBTQSovietHistory #GayUSSR #QueerUSSR #LGBTQUSSR #GayColdWarHistory #QueerColdWarHistory #LGBTQColdWarHistory #GayPostSoviet #QueerPostSoviet #LGBTQPostSoviet #GayRussia #QueerRussia #LGBTQRussia #RussianGayHistory #RussianQueerHistory #RussianLGBTQHistory #GlobalQueerHistory #GlobalLGBTQHistory #Mormon #LDS #LatterDaySaints #MormonCulture #MormonHistory #LDSHistory #MormonStories #MormonLife #MormonCommunity #GayMormon #LGBTQMormon #QueerMormon #MormonLGBTQ #LDSLGBTQ #LDSGay #GayLDS #QueerFaith #FaithAndIdentity #LGBTQFaith #ExMormon #ExMo #PostMormon #RecoveringMormon #MormonTransition #ExMormonCommunity #ExMormonStories #LeavingTheChurch #FaithJourney #ReligiousTrauma #UtahHistory #ReligiousFreedom #ChurchAndState #FaithAndEquality #GayExMormon #QueerExMormon #MormonSurvivor #GrowingUpMormon #ComingOutMormon #MormonFamily #TellOurStory #OSWC #OregonSaferWorkersCoalition

A podcast by Stuart Merrill: LGBTQ+ rights activist, lobbyist, historian, and survivor.I Woke Up This Gay is a firsthand journey through LGBTQ+ history—the history they never taught you—and the stories of heroes they want you to forget. These are stories from someone who knew, loved, and witnessed many of them change the world.The journey begins with "Russia Doesn't Have Gay Heroes," the story of Kostya, Stuart's boyfriend, a hero of the 1991 revolution that brought down Soviet communism. Two days after that victory, he was assasinated by the new government he help establish—a victim of a society unwilling to accept a gay hero.Born into a prominent Mormon family, Stuart Merrill survived anti-gay violence, came out during the height of the AIDS epidemic, worked for U.S. intelligence agencies in the Soviet Union, East and West Germany, was the first American in history allowed to keep his top secret security clearance after coming out as gay, lived and worked openly as a gay man in six countries, and later became an LGBTQ+ rights advocate and lobbyist..Through personal stories, interviews, history, and hard-won lessons, Stuart explores the people, events, victories, and tragedies that shaped modern queer life. From the AIDS crisis and the fight for equality to surviving religious extremism, political activism, and the collapse of the Soviet Union, these are stories of resilience, courage, loss, and hope.As anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric and legislation rise once again, preserving our history has never been more important. The best way to fight hatred is to tell our stories.My name is Stuart Merrill.And I Woke Up This Gay. #IWokeUpThisGay #IWokeUpThisGayPodcast #LGBTQPodcast #GayPodcast #PodcastLife #PodcastCommunity #PodcastRecommendations #IndependentPodcast #StorytellingPodcast #HistoryPodcast #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #GayRights #Pride #QueerVoices #QueerHistory #GayHistory #LGBTQHistory #QueerCommunity #RainbowCommunity #Pride365 #LoveIsLove #EqualityForAll #QueerStories #OutAndProud #LGBTQActivism #GayRightsActivist #HumanRights #CivilRights #Equality #Advocacy #SocialJustice #GrassrootsActivism #PoliticalAdvocacy #ChangeMakers #HiddenHistory #ForgottenHistory #LivingHistory #HistoryMatters #OralHistory #PersonalHistory #HistoryLovers #HistoricalStories #HistoryBuff #WitnessToHistory #GlobalLGBTQ #InternationalLGBTQ #AroundTheWorld #GlobalEquality #WorldHistory #CrossCultural #GlobalVoices #InternationalStories #USAHistory #CanadianHistory #AustralianHistory #SouthAfricaHistory #RussianHistory #SovietHistory #USSR #ColdWarHistory #PostSoviet #RussianLGBTQ #Memoir #MemoirWriting #PersonalJourney #LifeStory #TrueStories #ComingOutStory #LivedExperience #PersonalNarrative #LifeLessons #Storyteller #QueerElders #QueerArchives #LGBTQElders #QueerLegacy #PrideHistory #GayLiberation #StonewallGeneration #QueerResistance #LGBTQRightsHistory #HiddenQueerHistory #IWUTG #ThreeCandlesMemoir #QueerOrphans #QueerAcrossBorders #GlobalGayHistory #WitnessToPride #HistoryThroughPride #LivingQueerHistory #StoriesThatSurvived #Transgender #TransRights #TransLivesMatter #TransVisibility #TransVoices #TransCommunity #TransPride #TransHistory #TransJoy #TransAndProud #ProtectTransKids #TransEquality #TransLiberation #EqualRights #LGBTQRights #StandWithTransPeople #GenderJustice #TransAdvocacy #JusticeForTransPeople #TransAwareness #TransRepresentation #VisibilityMatters #RepresentationMatters #SeeTransPeople #TransStories #ListenToTransVoices #AuthenticSelf #BeYourself #LiveAuthentically #Nonbinary #NonBinaryPride #GenderDiverse #GenderNonconforming #GenderExpansive #Enby #BeyondTheBinary #GenderFreedom #GenderIdentity #NonbinaryVoices #ForgottenVoices #TransTrailblazers #KnowOurHistory #LGBTQCommunity #ChosenFamily #CommunitySupport #StrongerTogether #InclusiveFuture #UnityInDiversity #PrideMonth #Pride2026 #LGBTQVoices #CommunityAndPride #GayUSAHistory #QueerUSAHistory #LGBTQUSAHistory #GayCanadianHistory #QueerCanadianHistory #LGBTQCanadianHistory #GayAustralianHistory #QueerAustralianHistory #LGBTQAustralianHistory #GaySouthAfricaHistory #QueerSouthAfricaHistory #LGBTQSouthAfricaHistory #GayRussianHistory #QueerRussianHistory #LGBTQRussianHistory #GaySovietHistory #QueerSovietHistory #LGBTQSovietHistory #GayUSSR #QueerUSSR #LGBTQUSSR #GayColdWarHistory #QueerColdWarHistory #LGBTQColdWarHistory #GayPostSoviet #QueerPostSoviet #LGBTQPostSoviet #GayRussia #QueerRussia #LGBTQRussia #RussianGayHistory #RussianQueerHistory #RussianLGBTQHistory #GlobalQueerHistory #GlobalLGBTQHistory #Mormon #LDS #LatterDaySaints #MormonCulture #MormonHistory #LDSHistory #MormonStories #MormonLife #MormonCommunity #GayMormon #LGBTQMormon #QueerMormon #MormonLGBTQ #LDSLGBTQ #LDSGay #GayLDS #QueerFaith #FaithAndIdentity #LGBTQFaith #ExMormon #ExMo #PostMormon #RecoveringMormon #MormonTransition #ExMormonCommunity #ExMormonStories #LeavingTheChurch #FaithJourney #ReligiousTrauma #UtahHistory #ReligiousFreedom #ChurchAndState #FaithAndEquality #GayExMormon #QueerExMormon #MormonSurvivor #GrowingUpMormon #ComingOutMormon #MormonFamily #TellOurStory #OSWC #OregonSaferWorkersCoalition

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46. Queer Orphans

46. Queer Orphans