Could it be that asking the right dating questions is key to having satisfying dating experiences?

It’s been a long time since my dating days.

I had so many dating questions back then  In many ways, I was like someone stumbling around in the dark, trying to find a light switch.

I wasn’t sure what to talk about on the first date, how to present myself, and how to figure out whether to take the dating relationship any further if things did go well.

Have you ever felt this way?

Maybe you still do.

Today I’m excited to interview Dr. Duana Welch to ask some key dating questions and hear some helpful answers that will boost your confidence in approaching dating and relationships.

Dating Questions You Should Ask:

1. How Much Or How Little Should I Say?

Dr. Welch suggests that you focus on asking open ended questions that will help the other person talk about themselves.

Avoid the tendency to talk too much about yourself.  Sometimes, when anxious, we can tend to over-talk about ourselves because we feel most comfortable that way.  But it takes the attention away from the other person.

Resources:

Here are some conversation starters from the Tower of Power site.

Here are some of my articles about how to start a conversation:

Best Ways To Understand What A Conversation Is

How To Carry On A Conversation

How to Keep A Conversation Going

What Kind Of Mindset Is Most Helpful On A First Date?

A curious mindset is the best mindset. 

Be curious about the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and interests.

Dr. Welch states that very few people mind being asked questions as long as you are asking them kindly and sincerely, and are not too invasive.

So how can you tell what’s “too invasive”?

Bustle.com tells you about 5 Questions You Should Never Ask A Date Unless You Want A Really Awkward Moment.

Here’s a quote from that article:

Intrusive and insensitive questions are too personal, too critical or too threatening, says Brown. These include how much a person weighs, his/her bank balance, how many people he/she has slept with and whether or not there’s mental illness in his/her family.

How Can I Remain Calm And “Shine” On My First (And Subsequent) Date/s?

Dr. Welch suggests that you memorize your questions before the date.

Memorizing will give you confidence that you don’t have to come up with questions spontaneously.

You “shine” (make a positive impression) by asking your partner questions.

Asking questions shows that you care about the other person.

In reading others’ research, Dr. Welch has found that shy people who have learned to ask questions when they meet someone new, they:

a) become more popular

b) feel better about themselves.

These findings are based on Thorndike’s Law:

A law developed by Edward L. Thorndike that states, “responses that produce a satisfying effect in a particular situation become more likely to occur again in that situation, and responses that produce a discomforting effect become less likely to occur ...