5 Loaves & 2 Fish

on episode 2, we revisit ideas on friendship, familiarity and grace.

"The ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone." - David Whyte

season 3, coming to you live from the Spotify Greasy Tunes Cafe in Braamfontein.

a few months ago i challenged myself to writing 100-word stories of experiences that i was trying to process, and my tiny newsletter Stories I May Never Tell was born. i shared rhe newsletter with a small group of my friends and vowed to flesh the stories out on the podcast- the first of which is this one; vertigo. recording this episode was challenging. mouthing the words 'sexual harassment' in the same sentence as 'my friend' felt strange. but it was a story that had to be told, to set the tigers free.

in March 2021 i landed up in the ICU for a couple of days and spent a huge chunk of my time listening to Key to love (is understanding) by Badbadnotgood and Jonah Yano. although the song speaks of love in a romantic context, the key to love in all dimensions really is understanding. what greater love is there than to be understood? i felt that key unlock new avenues in the relationships i had with many people around me, then and even now.

*cue the trumpet sounds from Chance The Rapper's "Music is all we got"*

we're back baby! after a long hiatus, 5 Loaves and 2 Fish has returned for its sophomore season. fasten up and hold on tight, because we've entered the big girl league. this season is all about owning our stories and all the parts of ourselves that go along with them, to cultivate authenticity. i've been writing, thinking, talking, shooting and lazing around for these past 8 months and i can't wait for you to experience everything that i've been working on.

"although we've come, to the end of the road, still i can't let go. it's unnatural, you belong to me and i belong to you"

in the season finale of 5 Loaves and 2 Fish i look back at my year in podcasting and announce my indefinite break from podcasting. i'll be taking this time to spend time with the people and things that i love - family, friends, books, mt camera and other hobbies that i haven't had time for. this is an opportunity for rest and rejuvenation before the hustle and bustle begins again on this incessantly spinning hamster's wheel we call life.

thank you all for your unending support and commitment to 5 Loaves and 2 Fish - without you, i could not have filled all 12 of these baskets this past year.

keep well until our paths cross again, or until my sound waves meet your ears again, some day soon

love, Ayanda

i really had to fight the urge to upload a 5 second audio file of myself saying "nah, i'm too tired, see y'all next month" instead of piecing together an episode for this month. the sinusoidal nature of my academic and personal life this month have made the pod the last thing on my mind lately. but, here we are, 30 days of November through, 11 episodes down and 31 days remaining on the calendar for 2021.

in the penultimate episode of 5 Loaves & 2 Fish i explore my fatigue and subsequent burnout, as well as my relationship with my anxiety. this episode is a patchwork of my running thoughts as i sat behind the mic and penned down words that i have revisited.

from a young age, black women are stripped of their agency to navigate the world outside of the labels of "black" and "woman". in episode 10, i explore my experiences with race, the importance of listening to black women, cancel culture and all kinds of politics.

in episode 5, i recount an epiphany i had this week while i was on the bus - i'm living my childhood dream of becoming a scientist, even though this is not what i thought i would be doing a year or 2 ago.

i met 2 very interesting people this week, on campus and at Seattle, who added to this realisation and calmed some of the hears that have lingered in my mind lately. but Solo said it - dreams come a long way, not today, they're no mistake. and as Donald Glover said "keep all your dreams keep standing tall, if you are strong you cannot fall. there is a voice inside us all, so smile when you can"

one day someone needs to conduct research on the impact our grandparents have on our development and our blossoming - the stories they tell of their youth and the love they pour into us.

episode 8 is the first part of a 2 part series where I explore the lessons i learnt from my grandparents an the love we share, especially now as we all grow older, and closer - in love and understanding - and further - because of time and responsibilities. this one is for MaPenny - the strict yet tender lover of my soul whose love for me has become more apparent the more that i've leaned in to her corner and listened to what she has to say