The Democratic National Zoom Call Convention is here and gone. Hey, Bernie, you’re on mute, you’ve got to take yourself off mute. On the upside, it made the 90 minute speeches last only 90 seconds. The downside? Those 90 seconds were still agonizing. The Republicans will have their turn next week, and the beatings will continue until morale improves. The GOP nominates two legit conspiracy theorist crazy people for Congress in Marjorie Taylor Greene and Laura Loomer. At least one of them will join the more subtly crazy people in the House in January. Goodyear apparently bans MAGA gear at work. Will Trump supporters now go slash their tires like they smashed their Keurigs? Cincinnati Reds broadcaster Thom Brennaman drops an anti-gay slur on a broadcast and we watch his career go down in flames before our very eyes. Cubs broadcaster Mark Grace is bounced for calling his wife a dingbat, prompting at least one dingbat “journalism” think piece. And finally, Burger King in Belgium has created facemasks with your order on them so you don’t have to open to mouth to let people know you made the mistake of eating at Burger King.

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