Hardly Focused

509: “Masturbation” by Billy Squier


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The Warm-Up

Welcome to Hardly Focused, with Jack Gill, Chris Froment, and Mike Tarara! All are broadcasting remotely, as is the norm in this post-pandemic world. Mike notes that he’s serving a ban on Facebook for making a well-known, but direct reference to The Oregon Trail.

Masturbation (Almost) Kills

Jack kicks off this segment by (re)telling the story of when he and Fro threw their bicycles off the roof of their elementary school. Elsewhere, the group learns that excessive masturbation can result in a stroke. Get it – stroke?

Anti-Vax Schadenfreude

In this edition of “How Fucking Dumb Are You,” Jack tells Fro and Mike about Dick Farrel, a radio host from Florida who recently fell victim to COVID-19. Ironically, Farrel was outspoken against the virus and its vaccine. “Leopards ate my face!”

The Wrap-Up

Wrapping up this installment of Hardly Focused, Jack runs through a couple of stories for Fro and Mike:

  • A local moron stole a Vietnam veteran’s Purple Heart, and traded it for a bottle of Mountain Dew
  • A Russian woman sues McDonald’s because their advertising “made” her break lent and eat a cheeseburger
  • ...more
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