Holiday haircuts, mother accusing me of looking like a bovva boi, magic money, listening to scary stuff, the gig bulldozer, cat throwing himself through my pee stream, shitting in buckets, launching piss down Scot’s stairs, getting spat on by an alpaca, cleaning up dog shit, snapping horse dick, snapping human dick, cow tipping, firing rockets out of your arse, nailing your knob to the table