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55. When Conflict Feels Like Failure: A Christian Dad’s Journey from Shame to Servant-Hearted Leadership
What if the words “We need to talk” sent you spiraling—not because of what your spouse said, but because of what it triggered in you?
In this raw and redemptive on-air coaching session, you’ll meet Paul—a husband of 30 years, father of five (including two in their teens), and a man who’s spent decades avoiding conflict, shutting down emotionally, and fearing that deep down… he’s a failure. While his wife carried the weight of parenting and discipline, Paul played the peacekeeper—the one the kids liked. But underneath that was shame, silence, and a fear of rejection that kept him from stepping into godly leadership.
Now, after years of passivity and defensiveness, Paul is waking up to the damage that silence has caused—and to the grace that still meets him right here.
You’ll hear Paul wrestle with one of the most honest confessions a Christian man can make: “I’ve been a Christian my whole life… and I behaved this way. I should’ve been better. I feel ashamed.”
But here's the truth: There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).
Being a Christ-follower doesn't mean never messing up. It means knowing where to go when you do.
In this conversation, you’ll learn how to:
✅ Recognize how shame and fear fuel defensiveness and emotional withdrawal
✅ Take thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and respond with humility
✅ Identify your role on the Unhappy Kid Triangle (UHKT) and how to get off it
✅ Step into Spirit-led leadership as a husband and father
✅ Ask for forgiveness, repair emotional ruptures, and practice reconciliation
✅ Understand sanctification—not as perfection, but as a repeated return to grace and growth through the Holy Spirit
🎧 If you’ve ever thought, “I should’ve known better by now…” this episode is for you.
You are not disqualified by your failure. You are invited into transformation.
xoxo,
Danielle
💛 Ready to go deeper?
📥 Download the FREE 14-Day Teen Devotional: You Are Not Alone
Includes a parent guide → Download here
🎯 Take the UHKT Role Quiz
Which one do you default to in conflict? → Discover Your Go-To Position
🌿 Join me for the Women’s Healing Retreat: Renew & Restore
September 18-21 in Chattanooga, Tennessee → Reserve Your Spot
🛠️ Get the Happy Kid Toolkit
The system that changed our family → Buy Now
💬 Book a 1:1 Biblical Counseling or Family Coaching Session
Let’s walk this journey together → Book a Session
🎉 Join the private Facebook community → The Happy Family Coach Podcast Community
📲 Follow me on Instagram: @thehappyfamilycoach for daily encouragement
View all episodes
By Danielle Alvarez Greer - Biblical Counselor, Family Coach & Conflict Resolution Guide
5
6161 ratings
What if the words “We need to talk” sent you spiraling—not because of what your spouse said, but because of what it triggered in you?
In this raw and redemptive on-air coaching session, you’ll meet Paul—a husband of 30 years, father of five (including two in their teens), and a man who’s spent decades avoiding conflict, shutting down emotionally, and fearing that deep down… he’s a failure. While his wife carried the weight of parenting and discipline, Paul played the peacekeeper—the one the kids liked. But underneath that was shame, silence, and a fear of rejection that kept him from stepping into godly leadership.
Now, after years of passivity and defensiveness, Paul is waking up to the damage that silence has caused—and to the grace that still meets him right here.
You’ll hear Paul wrestle with one of the most honest confessions a Christian man can make: “I’ve been a Christian my whole life… and I behaved this way. I should’ve been better. I feel ashamed.”
But here's the truth: There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).
Being a Christ-follower doesn't mean never messing up. It means knowing where to go when you do.
In this conversation, you’ll learn how to:
✅ Recognize how shame and fear fuel defensiveness and emotional withdrawal
✅ Take thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and respond with humility
✅ Identify your role on the Unhappy Kid Triangle (UHKT) and how to get off it
✅ Step into Spirit-led leadership as a husband and father
✅ Ask for forgiveness, repair emotional ruptures, and practice reconciliation
✅ Understand sanctification—not as perfection, but as a repeated return to grace and growth through the Holy Spirit
🎧 If you’ve ever thought, “I should’ve known better by now…” this episode is for you.
You are not disqualified by your failure. You are invited into transformation.
xoxo,
Danielle
💛 Ready to go deeper?
📥 Download the FREE 14-Day Teen Devotional: You Are Not Alone
Includes a parent guide → Download here
🎯 Take the UHKT Role Quiz
Which one do you default to in conflict? → Discover Your Go-To Position
🌿 Join me for the Women’s Healing Retreat: Renew & Restore
September 18-21 in Chattanooga, Tennessee → Reserve Your Spot
🛠️ Get the Happy Kid Toolkit
The system that changed our family → Buy Now
💬 Book a 1:1 Biblical Counseling or Family Coaching Session
Let’s walk this journey together → Book a Session
🎉 Join the private Facebook community → The Happy Family Coach Podcast Community
📲 Follow me on Instagram: @thehappyfamilycoach for daily encouragement
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