Pursuing Truth Podcast

56. Four Character Traits "What type are you?" | Kim Maddern | Boundaries

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In this episode your host Levi Brickley teams up with his mom Kim Maddern a single mother of seven to discuss the four character traits of people who struggle with establishing boundaries in their relationships.  

(Show Notes)

  • #1 Character Trait - The Complaints: saying yes to the bad.   
  • No, I disagree, I will not, I choose not to, Stop that, It hurts, it’s wrong, that’s bad, I don’t like it when you touch me there.”   
  • Those who struggle with this are the compliant people. These people can struggle by blending in with their surroundings and become the “chameleon” in their group. (Proverbs 4:23)   
  • Fear of not fitting in. - Fear of hurting others feelings, fear of abandonment, Fear of others anger, fear of punishment, fear of being shamed, fear of being seen as selfish, fear of feeling guilt.  
  • Compassionate vs sacrifice. The difference in understanding one’s position without compromising a truth.   


    • #2 Character Trait - The Avoidant. This is the person who does not open the gate to other people to experience their love out of the fear of hurt. This causes resentment and bitterness.  
    • God's will is allowing you the decision to allow him into your relationships to guide them. We can shut him off or we can open the gate. We should enjoy safe relationships and avoid destructive ones. 
    • God makes a promise in Rev 3:20 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” For the avoidant this is hard to allow God in and allow people in.  


      • #3 Character Trait - The Controller- The controller can’t respect others boundaries because they can’t take the responsibility in their own life. Maintaining control. These are the bullies, and are often manipulative or aggressive. Instead of taking responsibility they project responsibility. 
      • Examples of aggressive controller- abusive husband 
      • Examples of manipulative controller- The hypergamous wife 
      • The controller is a fearful person who fails to take responsibility due to being undisciplined.   


        • #4 Character Trait - The non responsive- lack of attention to responsibilities. Proverbs 3:27 “Do not withhold good from those whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.”  
        • The two types of non responsive.  
        • 1.) self absorb desires.  
        • 2.) Critical spirit towards others caused from resentment.  

          • Functional relationship boundary. Is us having the ability to speak the truth with whom we are in a relationship with.

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          Pursuing Truth PodcastBy Levi Brickley