***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL TALKS ABOUT...***

Being too lazy to lean when he needs to fart; Not liking how the podcast’s cowboy announcer is trying to get into his wife’s pants; God’s nickname for Jesus and His plans for the second-coming sequel (spoiler alert: it’s bigger, badder, bolder); Not remembering anniversaries with his wife - it’s hard, they have so many (how is that possible? listen, or you’ll never know); Saving the world with a pointless podcast about nothing - as in, this one (that’s some badass wizard shit); How human beings resist, avoid and procrastinate - himself included (for once he’s not self-delusional); His deep, abiding love for all things instant (especially coffee); Being a cosmic engineer; Cowboys so rich they’ve got diamonds on their diamonds

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Regrets birthing so many illegitimate, unplanned podcast character children; Gets a feisty wake up call from Mike the Mic, who is unusually punishing and possessive, then makes outlandish claims about being indispensable (it’s a little desperate and pathetic); Completely forgets that he’s drinking coffee and searches for the non-existent square paper attached to the non-existent tea bag and - worst of all - annoyingly spends way too much time doing it; Attempts to fulfill a promise to his fans of devoting 80% of the podcast to his bodily functions - he falls short of the mark, despite a whole bunch of audible coffee-slurping and a slew of rafter-shaking belches (sorry, International, there’s always next time); Chats with Jesus, who is a big fan of the podcast, and he gets the Lord & Savior to leave a testimonial for the show (big win); Reads a punitive missive from The Podcast Board, who is none-too-happy that he isn’t following his OPD - most certainly there’ll be more on this in shows to come

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***