As we talked about last week, sometimes as survivors of narcissistic abuse, we can be too hard on ourselves. We’ve been taught by our abusers to question our decisions, actions, and motives, while turning a blind eye to their problematic behaviors. 

Two of the heaviest emotions that can linger on after leaving an abusive relationship are regret and guilt. We see the effects of the abuse in our lives, and regret our decision to stay in the relationship as long as we did, or the choice to raise children with the abuser, etc. And with that kind of regret tends to come the guilt… We simply cannot let go of the feeling that we have done something horribly wrong, and if we do try to let it go, it feels like we’re minimizing the entire experience or not owning our mistakes or weak moments. And even beyond that, our minds and bodies may be so used to holding onto that guilt that it has become the ever-present background noise to our lives… we walk around all day long with an underlying sense that we are in the wrong, just for existing. 

In today’s recording, you’ll hear me share some thoughts and encouragements around this topic, along with a suggestion for how to begin to confront and process through feelings of regret and guilt. 

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