It's a Ted the Lifecoach sandwich! Which is like a Christmas miracle, but it happens in August, and it refers to the nads of a milkmonster. So...those are just some of the differences between this episode and a Christmas miracle.

We've got a whole boatload of intense movie trailer voiceovers. The hero, Mike Watkins, his intrepid friend, Harch, and Orky the evil robot will do battle. Mike's superpower is to smash a barstool down really hard. It takes some effort to picture exactly how that's going to help anything.

And then, Ted the Lifecoach will make sure you have happles and not sad-pples. Ted will also get one of the worst and most hilarious charley horses of his career. So listen up, open your heat, and ride the monsignor because everything's going your way!

And then, it's back to the movie trailer, in which one baby with his stupid little farty eyes will rise up and destroy the evil machines. Or something.

And if you enjoyed this, well, tell that one weirdo friend you have. The one who worries you a little bit. Tell him. Or her. And both of you or all three of you come see us on twitter!